Kids: Today, my daughter was charged with multiple counts of vandalism...

By Anonymous - 24/06/2011 21:22 - United States

Today, my daughter was charged with multiple counts of vandalism and trespassing. It seems she's been sneaking out in the middle of the night, stealing and breaking our neighbors' lawn ornaments. Specifically garden gnomes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 229

You deserved it 7 104

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Same thing different taste

By dickhead - 10/04/2015 22:17 - United States

Today, I bought a garden gnome to spice up my lawn. Tonight, someone threw it right through my living room window. Not only will the repairs cost a ton, my neighbor keeps saying stupid shit to me, like "You must be shattered" and "Looks like you ain't got a window gnome... more." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 171

You deserved it 3 395

Vandals

By Interpid traveler - 07/09/2021 05:01

Today, I was woken up by my wife calling the police because our garden had been ransacked during the night. A whole row of houses has had their plants uprooted, greenhouses broken into and garden tools stolen. The cops haven't found any leads and I feel terrible for my wife, who poured her heart and soul into that garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 700

You deserved it 89

By Anonymous - 29/04/2014 02:39 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, an old guy phoned the cops on my daughter because she was drawing with chalk on the sidewalk. Apparently, he thinks it's vandalism. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 316

You deserved it 3 845

By bail? - 29/08/2019 23:00 - United States - Omaha

Today, my daughter's idea of a prank was taking all of our money and getting herself arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 638

You deserved it 181

By ilivealoneandwhatthefuck - 23/06/2013 17:02 - Guam - Yigo

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 295

You deserved it 4 336

A good thing? Really?

By Anonymous - 20/06/2023 12:00

Today, my daughter had to deal with a Karen at her job, lost her temper, and punched her unconscious just to shut her up. Sounds like a good thing, right? Wrong, she pressed charges, got my daughter arrested, and she’s now facing years in prison for grievous bodily harm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 283

You deserved it 1 356

Stitched up

By Busted - 26/07/2010 12:26 - South Africa

Today, I was woken up by the police pounding on my door, saying I was under arrest for stealing road signs. My friends went drinking last night and thought it would be funny to steal seven stop signs, four bus stop signs, and two children crossing signs, then plant them on my front lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 352

You deserved it 4 890

By nosestealer - 07/07/2013 21:57 - Canada - Brampton

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 478

You deserved it 9 866

Pants on fire

By Lucille - 07/09/2019 00:01

Today, while going through my daughter’s room, I found a pair of pants with the security tag still attached. My daughter is a thief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 491

You deserved it 331

By icarlymom - 05/03/2010 06:10 - United States

Today, my 18 year-old daughter comes home, telling me she has been fired from her job at McDonalds. The reason? They had iCarly Happy Meal toys and she couldn't resist stealing one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 604

You deserved it 5 403

thegypsy 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 1:48

not the gnomes!!!

ThorneCrossed 9

Saturday 25 June 2011 1:55

I met a girl who actually had a sexual fetish for garden gnomes. I wouldn't mind being a gnome, she was cute. Jesus that sounded weird

Comments

BadKitty13 28

Saturday 25 June 2011 5:19

HEHEHEHEHE ! Gnomeo & Juliet ... gone wrong ! They are creepy little bastards..... sorry she got caught.

sleepyN 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 5:23

same thing happened on the George loPez show the kid busted a bunch of gnomes n crap, you could probably sue his ass

Hidan_fml 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 5:37

Finally, someone said it...

theshocker09 1

Saturday 25 June 2011 5:26

everyone smashes garden gnomes at some point... they deserve it

llamalpaca382 13

Saturday 25 June 2011 5:32

your daughter is my new hero, just sayin...

BbqKirbyAnn 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 5:40

no!!!! who will I talk to now!?!?!?

seanylawls 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 6:27

your daughter is awesome.

pretty_in_pink_1 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 6:29

Nice parenting.

ntoenies2012 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 6:36

gee..sorry mom. now that I know you'd complain about it on fml, I really feel bad. I'll lay off the gnomes. garden hoses here I come!

pinkspaceboundro 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 6:46

should have taught her how to not get caught!

zanzan_fml 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 7:20

that's....interesting

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