Animals: Today, my docile gerbil was startled by a car alarm. He dove...

By piercednipple - 30/06/2015 16:02 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, my docile gerbil was startled by a car alarm. He dove into my tank top and bit straight through my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 067

You deserved it 2 760

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Same thing different taste

Kinky Crab

By Robert Herrin - 14/08/2018 18:30

Today, I fell asleep with my hermit crab on my bed and woke up to him pinching my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 2 131

By No Nip - 25/04/2019 12:00

Today, I was making breakfast with my parrot on my shoulder. He was excited about the food, and in his rush to climb down to the counter, bit through my nipple. I had to get stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 486

Carly Rae Jepsen

By Anonymous - 14/07/2024 23:00

Today, I was setting up a rat trap at the kitchen table and had just gotten it set when my phone rang. I foolishly leaned over to grab my phone, brushed against the trap, and it snapped closed on my nipple. I wasn’t wearing a bra so that thing grabbed my nipple hard and didn’t let go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 246

Poor little guy

By Anonymous - 04/03/2021 14:01

Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 162

By MikeNick - 17/12/2011 07:59 - United States

Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 709

You deserved it 9 797

Red or grey?

By Cherry - 11/02/2023 02:00

Today, I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and it bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 1 375

By Luna - 22/07/2012 02:30 - United States - Carmel

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 693

You deserved it 3 530

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 20:53 - United States

Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 253

You deserved it 5 275

By cdn_steed - 23/04/2011 13:11 - United States

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 972

You deserved it 4 661

By corasmom - 27/07/2011 18:09 - United States

Today, I learned that my daughter's gerbils are not afraid of the vacuum cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 872

You deserved it 10 542

jimmer23 21

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:23

My nipples hurt from all the way over here.

sarah5745 41

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:20

Holy shit!

Comments

Winona_Crystella 5

Sunday 5 July 2015 6:16

Ouch!

CuddlemeNot 10

Sunday 5 July 2015 17:03

I can feel that pain that ******* hurt

clarkson37 15

Tuesday 7 July 2015 8:38

That's one way to get them pierced

asherm 15

Tuesday 7 July 2015 9:11

Reminds me of the comedy routine by Jeff Foxworthy, though it was a beaver. "It didn't just bite the nipple. Bit. It. Off!" Ouch!

Zgamerz 11

Saturday 11 July 2015 7:22

ok what guy wears a tank top

PunkPrincess_fml 11

Monday 21 September 2015 18:38

OH SHIT SON

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The Top

Today, I had sex for the first time with a guy. After he passionately made love to me, I turned to him and said, "You smell really good." He turned to me and said, "You don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 849

You deserved it 13 788

Today, I went into work. After three years of working 55 hours a week, they fired me by putting the contents of my locker at the front door, with a note that said "If not picked up by 10:00 am stuff will be donated." I work the night shift. I just lost three sweaters, two pairs of shoes, $60, and my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 545

You deserved it 2 738

The Top

Today, while in an ambulance after being in a car wreck, the EMT told me I would need to sign some electronic paperwork. He held it above my head for me to sign and promptly dropped it on my my face, breaking my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 581

You deserved it 481

Today, I found out my trousers have actually been slowing ripping on the side, after I'd been boasting to everyone I have lost weight and that, “My trousers are literally falling off me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 675

You deserved it 394

Today, I celebrated my friend's birthday. While everyone was completely wasted, a couple of friends suggested that I throw a pie in the birthday boy's face. Only seconds after doing so did I realize that the centre of the pie had still been burning hot when he screamed in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 671

You deserved it 12 281

Today, my wife told me that she was leaving me for someone with more hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 605

You deserved it 4 765

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 193

You deserved it 5 246

Today, my husband broke a set of dishes, told me I had to clean it all up, and stormed out of the house. It’s now 3:30am and he still hasn’t come home. Our 5 year-old son keeps asking about him. What warranted all this? Asking him how his day went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 141