Animals: Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on...

By lulu - 11/02/2012 10:19 - United States

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 295

You deserved it 4 716

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Same thing different taste

Very bad idea

By Yoir mom - 16/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Port Richey

Today, I realized I was late for work, so I rushed out of bed only to accidentally step onto my dog which then promptly bit my leg and now I'm in the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 898

You deserved it 538

By Anonymous - 24/11/2011 10:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 730

You deserved it 4 240

By margretlle - 26/04/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 743

You deserved it 8 415

Adding insult to injury

By Fly my pretty, FLY! - 25/09/2023 02:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, my mom's super spoiled small demon dog attacked my 3 year-old daughter, mauling her leg. Out of instinct, I kicked it away, causing it to fly across the room yelping. I picked up my daughter and took her straight to the hospital, where she got stitches. Later that night, I was greeted with a vet bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 151

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 13:17 - Australia

Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 780

You deserved it 11 015

Bad boy

By nipped - 16/09/2009 13:24 - Australia

Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 990

You deserved it 88 463

STOP! BAD DOG!

By Anonymous - 08/03/2024 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, the family dog escaped and I ran after her. She started attacking a random dog, so I started clapping and yelling, trying to get her attention. After I got her away, my hands started swelling. I clapped my hands so hard that they're swollen and bruised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 457

By anyonmus - 12/04/2013 00:59 - United States - Westminster

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 277

You deserved it 9 704

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 20:14 - United States - Columbia City

Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 443

You deserved it 9 333

Roommate From Hell

By bigbuldge - 17/09/2019 00:01

Today, my roommate whipped my face with a frozen chicken cutlet. My cheek is now the size of the chicken cutlet, and now he won't drive me to the hospital because it's "too funny to look at." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 704

You deserved it 178

zingline89 18

Saturday 11 February 2012 16:10

There's a shorter wait time at the vet.

Luqdude 0

Saturday 11 February 2012 16:07

Finger Lickin' Good...

Comments

DarkAtom 0

Sunday 12 February 2012 4:46

**** the dog

hateevryone 14

Sunday 12 February 2012 5:03

imagine the looks people are giving you.

HunterAlpha1 8

Sunday 12 February 2012 13:06

so, did you taste like chicken?

glamorous18 10

Sunday 12 February 2012 13:36

I'm sorry but that's just amazing

Silverfoxx92 0

Sunday 12 February 2012 13:50

Well, I suppose you were going to go out in pubic dressed as a chicken anyways...

needsagf14 12

Sunday 12 February 2012 15:59

Chickenfoot!

princesshayy 0

Sunday 12 February 2012 21:16

lmfaoooo

princesshayy 0

Sunday 12 February 2012 21:18

winner winner chicken dinner.

tony23h 7

Sunday 12 February 2012 23:17

Your dog must has been thinking "that's a big chicken!"

faven 0

Monday 13 February 2012 0:31

Jfjfjcbnfjd

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our refrigerator, using what he thought was a dry erase marker. It was a permanent marker. I just renewed my lease. I get to look at a red penis every day for the next year and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 216

You deserved it 5 147

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 219

You deserved it 5 961

The Top

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 743

You deserved it 5 406

Today, after months of enduring my neighbor's relentlessly yapping schnauzer, Molly, I moved into a new building. I was greeted by my new neighbor and her yapping rat terrier, Molly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 313

You deserved it 4 032

Today, I was warning a girl in my art class to be careful with a Stanley knife, as she had managed to cut her finger quite badly. Just as I said it, I sliced my finger open with a Stanley knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 235

You deserved it 11 045

Today, I went to see my girlfriend to talk about my anxiety, because it's been a big issue. She broke up with me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 122

Today, I was dismissed from my job at an unemployment agency. In order to receive financial support from the government I need to be cooperating with a job service provider. They paired me up with the same place I was just fired from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 042

You deserved it 3 703

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me for a chick I shared a hospital room with for 2 months. I introduced them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 750

You deserved it 3 765