Animals: Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on...

By lulu - 11/02/2012 10:19 - United States

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 295

You deserved it 4 716

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Very bad idea

By Yoir mom - 16/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Port Richey

Today, I realized I was late for work, so I rushed out of bed only to accidentally step onto my dog which then promptly bit my leg and now I'm in the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 898

You deserved it 538

By Anonymous - 24/11/2011 10:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 730

You deserved it 4 240

By margretlle - 26/04/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 743

You deserved it 8 415

Adding insult to injury

By Fly my pretty, FLY! - 25/09/2023 02:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, my mom's super spoiled small demon dog attacked my 3 year-old daughter, mauling her leg. Out of instinct, I kicked it away, causing it to fly across the room yelping. I picked up my daughter and took her straight to the hospital, where she got stitches. Later that night, I was greeted with a vet bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 151

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 13:17 - Australia

Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 780

You deserved it 11 015

Bad boy

By nipped - 16/09/2009 13:24 - Australia

Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 990

You deserved it 88 463

STOP! BAD DOG!

By Anonymous - 08/03/2024 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, the family dog escaped and I ran after her. She started attacking a random dog, so I started clapping and yelling, trying to get her attention. After I got her away, my hands started swelling. I clapped my hands so hard that they're swollen and bruised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 457

By anyonmus - 12/04/2013 00:59 - United States - Westminster

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 277

You deserved it 9 704

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 20:14 - United States - Columbia City

Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 443

You deserved it 9 333

Roommate From Hell

By bigbuldge - 17/09/2019 00:01

Today, my roommate whipped my face with a frozen chicken cutlet. My cheek is now the size of the chicken cutlet, and now he won't drive me to the hospital because it's "too funny to look at." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 704

You deserved it 178

zingline89 18

Saturday 11 February 2012 16:10

There's a shorter wait time at the vet.

Luqdude 0

Saturday 11 February 2012 16:07

Finger Lickin' Good...

Comments

BradleysMommie 0

Saturday 11 February 2012 22:41

Maybe you need to feed your dog lol(:

musicluvr2000 11

Saturday 11 February 2012 22:42

I don't think dogs and chickens get along

KiddNYC1O 20

Saturday 11 February 2012 23:28

Mmm, chicken.

blegehlehgleh 0

Saturday 11 February 2012 23:50

Come into my den, let me hear you cluck...

Nickramos 0

Sunday 12 February 2012 0:15

Is he still stuck to your arm?

Kueezy 6

Sunday 12 February 2012 0:20

Scooby Was just hungry at the time. Or well... Everytime.

supermonke07 0

Sunday 12 February 2012 0:46

Yet you're on fml. I can just imagine you writhing in pain while holding your phone up adding this.

sups 2

Sunday 12 February 2012 1:32

he wanted to see how well chicken tasted! haha

TheThree 0

Sunday 12 February 2012 3:47

Cuz hospital patient in chickens reach into their pockets to go on FML and post this...

lhamil64_fml 5

Sunday 12 February 2012 4:25

Why didnt you take the suit off before going to the hospital (or while you were at the hospital unless you didn't have any clothes under it)? If you had time to sit there in the waiting room, it must not have been too bad.