Animals: Today, my dog pooped. In my lap. While I was driving. FML

By ConfusedGinger - 10/11/2016 11:50 - United States - Downingtown

Today, my dog pooped. In my lap. While I was driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 877

You deserved it 2 302

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Same thing different taste

By StinkyDogs - 27/03/2011 10:06 - United States

Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 693

You deserved it 11 263

By Mr Pippin - 09/09/2018 22:00

Today, after frolicking in some long grass near a lake, my dog got back in the car smelling strongly of poop. Upon further investigation, I discovered that a sewer had overflowed in the area. My dog rolled around in human faeces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 988

You deserved it 339

Road rage

By fUcKOAHdSAjl - 16/08/2013 18:41 - United States - Manchester

Today, my dog was riding my car's passenger seat. He clambered over onto my lap, causing me to lose control of the wheel for a few seconds. As I tried to knock him off me, I lost track of my speed, and ended up being pulled over for reckless driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 518

You deserved it 44 705

By WellThatSucks - 23/05/2016 09:15 - United States

Today, I discovered my dog pooped in my bed, under the covers, by rolling over onto it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 189

You deserved it 1 396

By Anonymous - 25/12/2011 08:09 - Canada

Today, my brother and I drove 3 hours to pick up our puppy. The woman we bought him from said not to put him in the cage for the ride home as he would pee for sure. She recommended I put him on my lap. Not only did he shit on the seat backing out of her driveway, he pissed on me an hour later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 037

You deserved it 7 247

By Debra2005 - 20/05/2009 02:17 - United States

Today, I adopted a dog from the local shelter. I put the dog in the car and he was shedding everywhere, but I was ok with that because he was my dog. As I pulled into the parking lot, the dog began to poop in the backseat of my car. When I got him out of the car, he ran off. $100 for him to poop and run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 335

You deserved it 10 717

By grace - 13/08/2015 14:54 - United States - New York

Today, I had to ride in the back seat of a car, next to a large, hyperactive dog who experiences nervous bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 521

You deserved it 1 660

By AD240Z - 16/12/2016 11:39

Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 612

You deserved it 646

By puppylove - 20/10/2012 07:16 - United States

Today, while driving with my puppy in the passenger seat, he jumped out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 794

You deserved it 28 903

By hadtocleanthemess - 28/06/2011 12:35 - Canada

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 885

You deserved it 4 202

EbyKat 16

Saturday 19 November 2016 7:05

You're lucky the FML wasn't about how you watched your dogs body go flying through the windshield when you got in an accident. Buy a carrier FFS.

yojibby 11

Saturday 19 November 2016 7:07

That's why you don't drive with a dog in your lap

Comments

blucorsa 15

Wednesday 23 November 2016 20:17

I really feel for you , but your dog shouldn't have been on your lap while you were driving anyway. YDI bruh.

Emmy0806 6

Friday 25 November 2016 1:11

Sorry, YDI for driving with an animal in your lap. That's so dangerous

therealmysfit 1

Saturday 26 November 2016 2:22

Still unsure how talking on a cell phone is considered extremely distracting, but a live animal (potentially pooping) on your lap is totally legal. Sorry to say, but YDI. Maybe your pooch was trying to teach you a safety lesson ;)

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 059

You deserved it 3 210

Today, thanks to that stupid ass blue dog, our kids haven’t stopped hounding me about when their dad and I are getting married. They’re too young to understand, so I try to gently change the subject. That worked for about 5 minutes before they were right back to asking. Holy uncomfortable subject Batman! FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 727

The Top

Today, my mother refuses to believe I’m gay because I’m too handsome. Apparently only really ugly men can be gay, because they’re too ugly to get women, and choose to date other ugly guys instead. I can’t believe I came out of that bigoted, racist, scumbucket's womb. The thought makes me sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 153

You deserved it 423

Today, while working the dinner rush at my job, every single computer, credit card machine, and printer froze for an hour and a half. The reason behind this issue was a large wire ripped from the mainframe, the same wire I tripped over 20 seconds before while my boss watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 604

You deserved it 9 942

Today, I thought about my boyfriend and all the things we used to do together years ago. Today, I also spent the day doing my now husband's laundry and watching him sit on the couch with his hand inside his underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 379

You deserved it 6 158

Today, I accidentally liked my ex's new partner's photo while stalking them on social media. Now I have to decide between pretending it never happened if they happened to notice, or sending a fruit basket with a note that says, "Sorry for the accidental like. It's not you; it's muscle memory." FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 673

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 962

You deserved it 11 822

Today, I had two minutes to get to the bus stop which usually takes me eight minutes. I had to catch that bus to be at work at the hospital in time. I was in such a hurry, I didn't have the time to tie my shoe laces. I ran with untied shoe laces. I did end up in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 557

You deserved it 14 963

Same thing different taste

Road rage

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