Geek: Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little...

By Yoda - 08/07/2011 05:23 - United States

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 966

You deserved it 4 899

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Same thing different taste

By Fuzzy - 08/01/2010 07:56 - Australia

Today, I was watching Star Wars : Attack of the Clones, and Yoda was using the force to move a heavy object. While in the middle of my loungeroom, I instinctively put my hand up to use the force to help him, infront of my father and sister. My sister will never let me live it down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 137

You deserved it 39 909

By :$ - 06/08/2012 22:08 - Canada - Niagara Falls

Today, I had to scream for my dad to come help me, after I got my hair caught in a fan while trying to make the Darth Vader voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 989

You deserved it 35 138

Halloween has started early

By Anonymous - 22/10/2019 00:01

Today, while walking down the street, I was violently beaten up by a man in a Darth Vader outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 624

You deserved it 165

By Anonymous - 01/05/2015 20:02 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 361

You deserved it 2 465

By Anonymous - 09/03/2011 01:15 - United States

Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 766

You deserved it 7 945

By DrLight - 17/01/2015 01:59 - United States - Raleigh

Today, a kid looked at me, screamed, then ran away yelling "Chewbacca!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 442

You deserved it 3 768

By Deadman - 02/04/2012 13:37 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 897

You deserved it 2 532

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 151

By meeeoow - 22/01/2011 10:05 - Australia

Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 665

You deserved it 2 777

By Sadfaic - 23/01/2012 02:59 - United States

Today, my long lost father came to visit me. He got drunk, then tried to beat me up. My neighbor called the police, and as soon as they got there, my father yelled, "Help! This man tried to stab me!" The sad part is, they believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 642

You deserved it 2 151

insects4u 0

Friday 8 July 2011 11:45

luke I am your father.

CookieLovesYou 1

Friday 8 July 2011 11:44

Nice father.

Comments

Demonyx 6

Saturday 9 July 2011 21:01

you should have recorded it

nhcutie96 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 21:31

*saver

bribearr 6

Saturday 9 July 2011 22:27

Actually, it's saber. Maybe you should learn yourself before correcting people.

Peacemaker9 7

Sunday 10 July 2011 1:26

haha awesome dad.

baseballlegitly0 2

Sunday 10 July 2011 2:06

yoda can u teach me the ways of the force too :(

shamonking 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 3:29

the force is strong in your father young Jedi.

justbigbs 6

Sunday 10 July 2011 3:54

Putting the funny aside, should your dad see alcoholics anonymous. That can tear a family apart, if theres a family still there. But worst comes to worse, get a good paying job and move out.

Patty22 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 4:33

Thats so awesomely funny and cool lol

nickfraxer 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 4:33

I'd love to come to a family gathering!! It'd be epic...

zzman001 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 6:53

i love when that happens

robberry 11

Sunday 10 July 2011 7:06

Quit being a bitch and teach him how to use the force already!

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The Top

Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 057

You deserved it 3 210

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex. I was on top and really into it but in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said, "Huh, look at the time, I gotta get home." She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 744

You deserved it 17 914

The Top

Today, my boss bitched me out for violating workplace privacy, after he found an FML post from last year that eerily resembled a situation that happened the same year. He thought I posted it and twisted things to make him look like an idiot. I've never posted here in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 163

You deserved it 2 581

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 741

You deserved it 6 700

Today, my friend and I were eating in my car in a McDonald's parking lot, when an angry, drunk man stumbled out of the restaurant and into his car. He then hit the McDonald's wall, turned around and sped straight into my car. I only bought it a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 806

You deserved it 1 280

Today, I was texting a girl I was interested in and we exchanged Instagram names. She ghosted me right after. She's the fourth girl to have done this to me in the past month. I guess I'm unattractive, but at least I'm good at texting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 817

You deserved it 413

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 033

You deserved it 47 399

Today, a woman came up to me and sheepishly asked if my son is single. He's not my son, he's my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 956

You deserved it 2 253

Same thing different taste

Halloween has started early

He's still got it

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