Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Today, my family, grandma included, took some time to discuss... - FML

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By Uh_Oh_Bro - 24/07/2016 17:58 - United States - Annandale

Spicy

Today, my family, grandma included, took some time to discuss whether or not olive oil is a suitable substitute for lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 641

You deserved it 1 987

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Same thing different taste

By fuck no - 22/08/2015 10:18 - India - Kollam

Spicy

Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 254

You deserved it 8 032

By Dilly - 10/10/2010 20:29 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 843

You deserved it 9 298

By Anonymous - 22/05/2009 08:18 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 845

You deserved it 3 844

By for fuck's sake, gran - 25/07/2015 05:30 - United States - Bainbridge

Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 502

You deserved it 1 783

By um... what the fuck, miss? - 02/08/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 811

You deserved it 6 147

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Spicy

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 113

None of my business

By proud cashier - 08/05/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, a man walked through my line with a XL bottle of lotion and many boxes of tissues. As I was ringing him up, the customer broke the silence by saying, "Yeah my son won't stop using the cooking oil for his 'personal time'", finger-air-quotes and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 95

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 03:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 347

You deserved it 10 521

Rash beard

By Rashbeard - 05/01/2020 01:00

Today, I was eating out with my partner, and we decided to use the new lube we bought. Things went great until I later realized I was allergic to it and a large red rash spread all across my mouth and chin. It won't go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 819

You deserved it 445

By JJMan217 - 29/03/2011 06:28 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 334

You deserved it 76 986

Next

Top comments

Earths_Venus 25

Monday 25 July 2016 10:09

Well, no, because oil degrades latex in condoms. Unless you're not using condoms, in which case it's fine, but might stain the sheets. Best to avoid it.

BlackHawkSavior 28

Monday 25 July 2016 9:59

Well... enlighten us, is it or is it not?

Comments

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Tuesday 26 July 2016 4:56

Bad for condoms. Bad for a woman's ph balance.

Elgrin 15

Tuesday 26 July 2016 10:39

Spoiler alert: it is.

beef_weezle 13

Tuesday 26 July 2016 16:33

For anal sex without condoms it will work just fine if nothing else is available. It will make a gawd awful mess though...

annalily5 28

Tuesday 26 July 2016 20:30

Maybe for anal, but otherwise sounds like a potential yeast infection.

minagiv 11

Wednesday 27 July 2016 3:51

It's good for handies, but you end up craving fried chicken afterwards.

Grisha_fml 18

Wednesday 27 July 2016 4:50

we are all waiting OP, you've invested time in this discussion and we all want to know, is it really?

Grisha_fml 18

Wednesday 27 July 2016 4:54

gosh guys, why are you making everything sexual? They were discussing if it can be used to lubricate door hinges so they won't squeak. SMH...

booperdooper222 10

Wednesday 27 July 2016 19:39

Onision wtf!

booperdooper222 10

Wednesday 27 July 2016 19:44

Sorry I meant onion boy

frontmanmike 14

Tuesday 2 August 2016 10:00

Only if there are no condoms. For bareback work? Sure, it's organic and all that good stuff.

acidbeastmode88 4

Friday 12 August 2016 20:20

your Grandma sounds like a legend

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The Top

Today, my work told my they are launching a work performance investigation. That would be OK, if the only person assessing me wasn't the same person giving me the tasks that have nothing to do with my experience, and thus causing the low performance. My kids need my work visa to stay in the country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 113

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 542

You deserved it 5 779

The Top

Today, as a birthday present, my friends threw a surprise party for me. I was so surprised, I pissed myself in front of everyone, including my crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 147

You deserved it 2 129

Today, someone drove into my car at an intersection and drove off. Luckily, I got the car's registration plate and called the cops on them. Turns out, it was my boyfriend's brother's girlfriend, who was illegally driving without a license. Now everyone's mad at me for getting her in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 741

You deserved it 1 238

Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 929

You deserved it 68 906

Today, my boyfriend came over while I was babysitting my little brother. He wouldn't stay in bed, so my boyfriend told him,"If you don't stay in bed, the monster will eat you!" I now have to wash my brother's bedsheets, because he was too afraid to get up and go pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 690

You deserved it 10 826

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 568

You deserved it 13 724

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on, and listening to loud music when she suddenly looked worried and asked if I heard something. I said no and continued. Moments later, three firemen opened the bedroom door and told us to get dressed and go outside because the building was on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 922

You deserved it 9 812