Love: Today, my father decided that since I'm 21 and have never had...

By foreverashamed - 04/11/2011 06:57 - Canada

Today, my father decided that since I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend, he would buy me a book on how to talk to girls. The book was written by a 9 year-old kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 655

You deserved it 6 830

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next time? Never!

By Anonymous - 10/06/2014 20:06 - Barbados - Bridgetown

Today, my nineteen year-old daughter handed me a book on raising children and said, "Maybe you'll do better next time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 388

You deserved it 16 520

By nerderer - 15/03/2015 14:57 - United States - Duluth

Today, my dad decided that the best way to alleviate my crippling depression is to talk to me in a baby voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 903

You deserved it 3 342

Thanks for the input

By NVP - 18/01/2009 14:30 - United States

Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 485

You deserved it 3 816

By cheerbabeXoXo - 29/06/2013 21:49 - United Kingdom - High Wycombe

Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 614

You deserved it 4 986

Prepper

By suze44 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my father decided to "prepare" me for the real world by telling me that I'm ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 244

You deserved it 5 370

By Foreveralone17362562 - 16/04/2014 02:18 - Canada - Cold Lake

Today, I was telling my dad about how annoying it was to constantly have my ten-year-old cousin message me about her new boyfriend, when he suddenly bursts out laughing about how she can get a boyfriend at ten, and I have never even kissed a guy and I'm seventeen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 507

You deserved it 5 760

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 17:42 - Zambia

Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 205

You deserved it 2 394

Thanks Mom and Dad

By Socially awkward guy - 27/12/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, since I've been single my whole life, my parents decided to get me to think about what I would want in a relationship. The ensuing conversation made me realize why I am single: not only do I have a major lack of confidence, but I also just don't know how to talk to people, much less people I'm interested in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 113

By WayToGoDaddyHo - 08/07/2015 06:17 - United States - Beaverton

Today, my father lectured me for dating a man with "no future", even though he's entering a PhD program next year at a top university. Meanwhile, my dad's last relationship was with a 20-year-old hooker who ended up stealing his credit cards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 987

You deserved it 1 843

By It was the 11 year old - 21/07/2012 08:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 913

You deserved it 5 033

SugarCrazy 14

Friday 4 November 2011 16:14

Maybe you can learn something...

saIty 17

Friday 4 November 2011 16:19

Step 1) Share your cookies Step 2) Share your juice Step 3) Watch out for cooties

Comments

RockerXChic117 0

Friday 4 November 2011 23:57

It could work. You'll never know. Good live though

melissaisawsome 0

Saturday 5 November 2011 0:21

And it got published?

peaceloveblunts 2

Saturday 5 November 2011 0:26

virgin for life?

mrmerino 0

Saturday 5 November 2011 0:26

Is it written by a guy named Godek?

iamcrazy_fml 6

Saturday 5 November 2011 0:27

cause kids arent as shy as adults.

artprincess 0

Saturday 5 November 2011 1:08

u have NEVER had agirlfriend!?!

someguy314159265 15

Saturday 5 November 2011 2:28

Is there something wrong with that?

burro_fml 6

Saturday 5 November 2011 2:42

My teacher at school has that in our library..... 12th grade..... there's another one by a twelve year old that's better

tayhannah 0

Saturday 5 November 2011 2:52

wow -_- thats just sad.

riyavr 0

Saturday 5 November 2011 2:56

:O Justine burner wrote a book? :O

escadoo 3

Saturday 5 November 2011 3:59

It's never too late to learn something new..

Keywords

Shoes Relatable Clothes Miscellaneous Cars Transportation Insurance Work Health Cheating Love Awkward Food Clumsy Embarrassing Animals Dating First Dates Bikes Cute Dogs Ironic Pranks Shopping Texting Mistakes Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, I was working my job checking people in at the gym. A sweaty, chubby woman came up to me complaining about how our staff seems so fit. I replied, "We like to hire people who have bodies that motivate our clients!" She gave a blank stare, then said, "So how did you get the job?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 926

You deserved it 15 103

Today, I went to see my gynecologist. She was writing my symptoms up in my chart on her computer. After a little while, I noticed that she had a confused look on her face and was reading something instead. When I took a peek at the computer screen, I saw that she was Googling my symptoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 273

You deserved it 4 584

The Top

Today, my girlfriend told me that she prefers to be on top because I appear skinnier than I actually am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 420

You deserved it 290

Today, I realized the only reason my mom trusts me to stay home alone for long periods of time is because I don't have enough friends to throw a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 620

You deserved it 2 592

Today, I stopped to gas up. The pump wasn't taking my BP rewards card, and it said to go see the cashier. I went in to ask what's up, where the cashier politely pointed out that I was in a Shell gas station, not a BP. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 2 009

Today, my daughter was telling everyone at her elementry school about my gay partner. Yes, I have a gay partner. He is my work partner and he happens to be gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 172

You deserved it 5 144

Today, I have dentures, wear bifocal glasses, and was recently diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. I must be pretty old, right? Wrong. I’m 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 101

Today, I finished the run for a play in which I played a gay man. Now that all the performances are over, I have kissed a man more times in my life than I have kissed a woman. I'm straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 583

You deserved it 10 281