Love: Today, my father decided that since I'm 21 and have never had...

By foreverashamed - 04/11/2011 06:57 - Canada

Today, my father decided that since I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend, he would buy me a book on how to talk to girls. The book was written by a 9 year-old kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 655

You deserved it 6 830

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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next time? Never!

By Anonymous - 10/06/2014 20:06 - Barbados - Bridgetown

Today, my nineteen year-old daughter handed me a book on raising children and said, "Maybe you'll do better next time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 388

You deserved it 16 520

By nerderer - 15/03/2015 14:57 - United States - Duluth

Today, my dad decided that the best way to alleviate my crippling depression is to talk to me in a baby voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 903

You deserved it 3 342

Thanks for the input

By NVP - 18/01/2009 14:30 - United States

Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 485

You deserved it 3 816

By cheerbabeXoXo - 29/06/2013 21:49 - United Kingdom - High Wycombe

Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 614

You deserved it 4 986

Prepper

By suze44 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my father decided to "prepare" me for the real world by telling me that I'm ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 244

You deserved it 5 370

By Foreveralone17362562 - 16/04/2014 02:18 - Canada - Cold Lake

Today, I was telling my dad about how annoying it was to constantly have my ten-year-old cousin message me about her new boyfriend, when he suddenly bursts out laughing about how she can get a boyfriend at ten, and I have never even kissed a guy and I'm seventeen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 507

You deserved it 5 760

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 17:42 - Zambia

Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 205

You deserved it 2 394

Thanks Mom and Dad

By Socially awkward guy - 27/12/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, since I've been single my whole life, my parents decided to get me to think about what I would want in a relationship. The ensuing conversation made me realize why I am single: not only do I have a major lack of confidence, but I also just don't know how to talk to people, much less people I'm interested in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 113

By WayToGoDaddyHo - 08/07/2015 06:17 - United States - Beaverton

Today, my father lectured me for dating a man with "no future", even though he's entering a PhD program next year at a top university. Meanwhile, my dad's last relationship was with a 20-year-old hooker who ended up stealing his credit cards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 987

You deserved it 1 843

By It was the 11 year old - 21/07/2012 08:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 913

You deserved it 5 033

SugarCrazy 14

Friday 4 November 2011 16:14

Maybe you can learn something...

saIty 17

Friday 4 November 2011 16:19

Step 1) Share your cookies Step 2) Share your juice Step 3) Watch out for cooties

Comments

ElHeva999 2

Saturday 5 November 2011 4:41

My brother owns that book. The difference is that he is nine.

MiGman 5

Saturday 5 November 2011 5:56

Hahahaha me and my friends gave the same book to our grade 10 math teacher

TheClumsiest 0

Saturday 5 November 2011 6:22

read it. who knows it could help. ha nine year old. yea right dont read it.

sinking_fish 12

Saturday 5 November 2011 6:24

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there!! WITH A GIRLFRIEND!

starfish7 18

Saturday 5 November 2011 6:30

Kids give the best advice!!

cooljcool 0

Saturday 5 November 2011 7:35

I've seen that book!!!

RedCamaro10 0

Saturday 5 November 2011 8:00

It's sad when a 9 year old kid had better game than you... That's pretty pathetic.

zander4310 5

Saturday 5 November 2011 8:22

dont worry i'm 15 and ive never had one, do you even want one?

supercrack11 1

Saturday 5 November 2011 11:39

Lamo I remember when I was 9 or younger I had balls of steel and talking to all the girls I likes and was never nervous now...I'm just a little pussy

fredlax9 7

Saturday 5 November 2011 13:50

I've seen that book.............

Keywords

Shoes Relatable Clothes Miscellaneous Cars Transportation Insurance Work Health Cheating Love Awkward Food Clumsy Embarrassing Animals Dating First Dates Bikes Cute Dogs Ironic Pranks Shopping Texting Mistakes Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, after finally convincing my wife to let me donate the piles of junk lying around, I was backing out of the driveway with a full load when she ran out going, "Wait, wait!" She wants to go through everything and try to sell it. Back to square fucking one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 85

Today, I was supposed to be working from home. Instead, I ended up taking the kids out to the park for the morning, because my wife “couldn’t even” today. When we got home, she had demolished two bottles of wine, and was masturbating to a home improvement show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 042

You deserved it 326

The Top

Today, at my job as a fourth grade teacher, I realized that most of my students have far nicer and more expensive phones than I can afford. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 423

You deserved it 3 880

Today, I babysat my little cousin. He thought that a glue stick would have the same effect as chapstick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 792

You deserved it 757

Today, I found a picture of my military husband kissing another woman. His excuse? It was photoshopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 026

You deserved it 3 232

Today, my class and I were discussing our country's relationship with other countries. One person stated that the French have never done anything for us. A classmate took that moment to chime in and ask, "I thought the French gave us that giant statue of the Mona Lisa?" He was dead serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 731

You deserved it 970

Today, I found out that my mom uses my incredibly expensive conditioner to wash her two dogs every single weekend. No wonder they smell so good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 392

You deserved it 404

Today, my parents came back home from a one-week trip, during which I didn't let any friends over, so I could keep the house clean. Now my parents say they'll never leave me home alone again because the house is "too clean" and I must have thrown a party while they were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 436

You deserved it 1 138