Love: Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new... - FML

By coffee_princess - 22/07/2010 23:14 - Canada

Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 944

You deserved it 4 465

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Same thing different taste

Smell test

By smellybelly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years kept digging around in his belly button and smelling his fingers. At one point he shoved his fingers in my face and told me to smell his belly button. He's 27 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 591

You deserved it 4 726

Genetics

By outie - 13/09/2020 02:02

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I have an 'outie' belly button, and he didn't want our potential kids to have one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 592

You deserved it 193

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 23:13 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 699

You deserved it 5 699

By leahrb - 24/02/2016 18:55 - United States - Wilmington

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 345

You deserved it 1 890

Don't let me be misunderstood

By sadfacemaking - 20/07/2021 08:01

Today, my boyfriend bought me a ring for my birthday. My dad now refuses to talk to me, because he thinks I'm engaged. My boyfriend thinks it's funny, because he'd never marry me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 202

You deserved it 143

By Illinoisgirl - 14/02/2012 14:29 - Hungary

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 241

You deserved it 3 050

News to me

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 20:00

Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 934

You deserved it 183

By quit fucking up my life - 23/11/2013 01:08 - United States - Kenai

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 658

You deserved it 4 921

By ihateguys - 26/09/2014 19:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I heard my boyfriend talking with my father in the backyard. I thought he was asking for my hand in marriage. He was actually telling him about his plans to break up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 967

You deserved it 4 007

By highlandgirl10 - 21/07/2010 20:31 - Canada

Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 102

You deserved it 6 230

Next

Top comments

DncrHap 9

Friday 23 July 2010 9:36

"well, mr. bellybutton, what do you think of Emma's new boyfriend?" "he gives me a tummy ache." "ohhhh, mr. bellybutton. you crack me up!"

ScaryyMary 14

Friday 23 July 2010 9:17

What was it saying?

Comments

sunooi 0

Friday 23 July 2010 13:06

ur dad is awesome

oxoashleeoxo 6

Friday 23 July 2010 13:20

Embarressing at first, but I would cut him some slack. You clearly have an awesome dad, he just wanted to make a first good/humorous impression, and most likely he probably did! (:

blahzz 4

Friday 23 July 2010 13:58

Can his bellybutton also make me a sammich? Awesome!

MandaMazing 0

Monday 25 April 2011 6:40

why would youu wantt it to.? it'd be covered in lint. I'm not even a germaphobe and that's gross.

joeinthedark 18

Friday 23 July 2010 14:40

Awesome. I hope it said something like, 'make sure my little snowflake is back by 10 of big poppa is going to be pissed!'

greenfsu 0

Friday 23 July 2010 15:06

my dad brings out a gun

sickshoes12 0

Friday 23 July 2010 15:31

that's sad some1 is desperate

LordXavier 0

Monday 26 July 2010 3:04

what are you doing to that bike!?!?!?

MandaMazing 0

Monday 25 April 2011 6:32

ummm... who.? I don't really see how anyone is desperate here, justt embarrassed.

sissy101321 0

Friday 23 July 2010 16:03

At least you know now that if he stays with you, he must really like/love you?

suzyperez 0

Friday 23 July 2010 16:36

ahh I would feel sooo embarrass!

OhDangItsha4nnaH 0

Friday 23 July 2010 17:29

I think that is so cute xD I wish my dad would do that in front of my boyfriend. so he wouldn't feel like my dad wants to kill him.

bleaker95 0

Friday 23 July 2010 21:53

thats kinda epic

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Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I can only have sex with really fat men, because that’s what turns me on, yet as soon as the sex is over, through no fault of theirs, I have to run to the toilet to be sick because I can’t believe what I just had sex with. I’m so messed up in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 2 524

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 052

You deserved it 8 438

The Top

Today, I woke up with a mouthful of cat hair. I don't have any recollection of how this could've happened. My most plausible idea is that my cat shoved his face in my mouth while I was asleep. But how did I not wake up from that? Maybe when I'm done pulling all the hairs out of my mouth, I can think about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 186

Today, as I was building furniture at work, I managed to get my fingernails ripped off and the tips mauled while cutting the wood for a nightstand. As my I was getting bandaged, one of my bosses looked at me and simply asked, "Why'd you stop working?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 094

You deserved it 822

Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 221

You deserved it 5 908

Today, I decided it was time to have "the talk" with my daughter, after I found a thong in the washing machine. She denied it was hers and pointed out how it was too big to fit her. I ended up having a very different talk with my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 336

You deserved it 2 938

Today, I woke up with a dry cough, which is a red flag for COVID. I took a home test, came up positive; went to a doctor, same result. I get home, mask up, and tell my roommates to test. I'm still in the process of telling the family I can't make it for Thanksgiving when my roomies test positive, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 186

Today I was trying to show off to my mother about how much detail I placed into my group project that I had to do tomorrow. I then proceeded to delete the project thinking that I was just removing it from my phone.... Everyone's research and my 3 day's of hard work went with it. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 2 634