Intimacy: Today, my father pulled me aside right before heading off to...

By condom_kid - 27/07/2009 14:34 - United States

Today, my father pulled me aside right before heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your short's pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 416

You deserved it 73 590

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Same thing different taste

By killercow - 19/04/2011 16:19 - United States

Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said, "You know you can't wash and reuse these?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 232

You deserved it 23 007

Rushed

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 20:53 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 660

You deserved it 44 717

Missing

By Anon - 04/08/2013 05:36 - Australia - Perth

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 660

You deserved it 20 288

By dpl - 19/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 581

You deserved it 5 636

By Anonymous - 09/11/2011 12:55 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 437

You deserved it 9 325

By Anonymous - 15/07/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to shower, his mother slams a pair of underwear on the table and tells me that if she ever finds something like that in her son's room again, she is forbidding him from seeing me. The underwear isn't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 815

You deserved it 2 639

Denial

By innocent - 06/01/2015 03:11 - United States

Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 348

You deserved it 3 362

By Anonymous - 05/08/2011 22:57 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 753

You deserved it 3 885

By my honest father - 10/07/2013 16:33 - United States - Kansas City

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 064

You deserved it 3 749

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 16:21 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 048

You deserved it 45 875

cherrybollosm04 0

Monday 27 July 2009 20:03

YDI be more sanitary

shewasalmost18 0

Monday 27 July 2009 20:08

uhh in your pocket? did you want a souvenir?

Comments

clars_fml 0

Monday 27 July 2009 21:58

well at least your dad seems pretty cool about it

Calaura9 0

Monday 27 July 2009 22:15

YDI for having parents who care about you.

baller789 0

Monday 27 July 2009 22:26

YDI for having parents that dont have downsyndrome

bexox 0

Monday 27 July 2009 22:30

*Down's Syndrome

mobius8 0

Monday 27 July 2009 22:49

It's Down Syndrome is you're using American English. I wouldn't get too hung up on it.

snackeyg 0

Monday 27 July 2009 22:30

Why would you pocket it and not just throw it away right away?

baller789 0

Monday 27 July 2009 22:33

your ugly and have no life*

MissRogue 0

Monday 27 July 2009 22:41

Haha, my ex forgot it in his pocket once, luckily I remembered before he went back home. :P

saze_fml 0

Monday 27 July 2009 22:50

YDI, but how cool is ur pops!?

darkmis1 17

Monday 27 July 2009 22:58

For all the people saying the OP shouldn't be having sex if he's young enough for his mom to do his laundry: he could be around 18 and still living with his parents before he goes to college or somethng. That's old enough to have sex, but still be living at home.

visage 0

Monday 27 July 2009 23:05

If you screwed at her house flush it... If it was at your's toss it on the neighbors yard! Or do what I did: say screw it and toss thwm in the trash for all to see. At least my parents knew I wasn't queer, I was gettin some & being smart about it!