Intimacy: Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food...

By welted - 01/01/2010 05:21 - Canada

Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 222

You deserved it 4 237

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By wakinginvegas87 - 05/09/2010 15:49 - United States

Today, it was my boyfriend's parents' anniversary so I thought I'd do something to impress them. I made them chocolate-covered strawberries. But for some reason they gave me really dirty looks when they saw it. Turns out his mother is allergic to strawberries and his father is allergic to chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 761

You deserved it 5 317

Rash beard

By Rashbeard - 05/01/2020 01:00

Today, I was eating out with my partner, and we decided to use the new lube we bought. Things went great until I later realized I was allergic to it and a large red rash spread all across my mouth and chin. It won't go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 812

You deserved it 441

Desperate

By yourmainman - 28/01/2013 05:03 - Canada

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 936

You deserved it 15 970

Kinky

By Anonymous - 11/08/2022 22:00

Today, my husband asked if we could try food play during sex. I okayed it, thinking it would be the standard squirty cream or chocolate sauce. Let’s just say I was not expecting him to be eating crispy bacon and blue cheese sauce off my boobs. Good Lord, I married a weirdo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 532

By flavored - 18/11/2013 15:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 212

You deserved it 19 457

My chocolate

By oops - 31/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 1 795

By Anonymous - 16/04/2013 23:21 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 551

You deserved it 8 072

By rhunter17 - 06/04/2015 19:38

Today, I forgot my boyfriend was allergic to nuts and ate Nutella toast before he arrived. He had just brought me flowers for doing well in an exam and I kissed him. He had a reaction and I had to stab him in the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 844

You deserved it 10 586

Taste test

By Anonymous - 25/01/2014 12:28 - United States - Berkeley

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 643

You deserved it 6 605

recoils in horror

By Anonymous - 07/11/2017 06:00

Today, I am violently allergic to my boyfriend's new hand cream. I know this because after last night's quickie on the sofa, I now have a rash all over my skin and weeping sores inside my vagina and around my bum hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 728

You deserved it 877

NatzSwifey 0

Friday 1 January 2010 13:10

For you to be engaged must mean that you are of a certain age, have you never come across strawberries before now?

xMrAndyTranx 4

Friday 1 January 2010 13:10

Did you atleast put some whipped cream in her mouth?

Comments

perdix 29

Friday 1 January 2010 15:16

Hey, I'm all for experimentation and "to each his own," etc., but really, strawberry sauce in the armpits? C'mon! That's gross and uncomfortable! Also, putting it in his (head) hair seems to be a pointless waste of sauce requiring unnecessary effort to wash out.

GiRIsMakingCupca 0

Friday 1 January 2010 15:32

how can you just find out that you are allergic to stawberries? You have never tasted starwberries up unroll now in your life?

quikwit1212 0

Friday 12 February 2010 4:31

Technically, he said strawberry SAUCE. It didn't just have to be strawberries, it could have been an ingredient inside it.

GiRIsMakingCupca 0

Friday 1 January 2010 15:34

I meant to put "up until"

omgitschristina8 0

Friday 1 January 2010 16:26

you can develop an allergy to something at anytime in your life.

DreamerofWorlds 0

Friday 1 January 2010 18:37

^What this person said. I didn't used to have any allergies, and now I'm allergic to pet dander and pollen. :-P It sucks. OP, fyl, that is seriously unfortunate.