Intimacy: Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food... - FML

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By welted - 01/01/2010 05:21 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 231

You deserved it 4 240

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Same thing different taste

By wakinginvegas87 - 05/09/2010 15:49 - United States

Today, it was my boyfriend's parents' anniversary so I thought I'd do something to impress them. I made them chocolate-covered strawberries. But for some reason they gave me really dirty looks when they saw it. Turns out his mother is allergic to strawberries and his father is allergic to chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 765

You deserved it 5 319

Rash beard

By Rashbeard - 05/01/2020 01:00

Today, I was eating out with my partner, and we decided to use the new lube we bought. Things went great until I later realized I was allergic to it and a large red rash spread all across my mouth and chin. It won't go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 819

You deserved it 444

Desperate

By yourmainman - 28/01/2013 05:03 - Canada

Spicy

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 951

You deserved it 15 977

Kinky

By Anonymous - 11/08/2022 22:00

Spicy

Today, my husband asked if we could try food play during sex. I okayed it, thinking it would be the standard squirty cream or chocolate sauce. Let’s just say I was not expecting him to be eating crispy bacon and blue cheese sauce off my boobs. Good Lord, I married a weirdo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 213

You deserved it 535

By flavored - 18/11/2013 15:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 220

You deserved it 19 469

I know her so well

By Anonymous - 20/01/2025 00:00 - United States - Detroit

Today, I spent a good deal of my afternoon preparing a nice dinner for my girlfriend. When I finally served the meal, I proudly presented her with a beautifully arranged plate of salmon. She looked at it and said, “You know I’m allergic to fish, right?” We had cereal for dinner instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 717

My chocolate

By oops - 31/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 1 802

By Anonymous - 16/04/2013 23:21 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 561

You deserved it 8 075

By rhunter17 - 06/04/2015 19:38

Today, I forgot my boyfriend was allergic to nuts and ate Nutella toast before he arrived. He had just brought me flowers for doing well in an exam and I kissed him. He had a reaction and I had to stab him in the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 851

You deserved it 10 589

Taste test

By Anonymous - 25/01/2014 12:28 - United States - Berkeley

Spicy

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 649

You deserved it 6 608

Next

Top comments

NatzSwifey 0

Friday 1 January 2010 13:10

For you to be engaged must mean that you are of a certain age, have you never come across strawberries before now?

xMrAndyTranx 4

Friday 1 January 2010 13:10

Did you atleast put some whipped cream in her mouth?

Comments

JigglesGirl 19

Friday 28 October 2016 7:48

That's why I go with simple stuff, like a donut around his "hmmhmm" or spray can whipped cream on my "assets"

lucasj2345 7

Friday 15 September 2017 0:04

and I'm to believe you've never met a strawberry before?

Bubbilility 27

Friday 15 September 2017 15:04

I'm sorry you're allergic to strawberries, they're great. Well, not to you, obviously.

randybryant799 20

Thursday 30 September 2021 2:10

I'm trying to understand how you've never had strawberries before.

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