Health: Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself.... - FML

By Mel - 07/05/2011 22:27 - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 972

You deserved it 12 963

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Bianka05 - 19/07/2017 20:00

Today, after being on vacation for a week, my alarm sounded early in the morning. It scared me so badly I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 992

You deserved it 962

By YoshiSqu4d - 03/07/2019 14:01

Today, someone tripped the fire alarm at the hotel I'm currently staying at while I was taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 594

You deserved it 113

No smoke, no fire

By justme - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was about to take a dump when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 001

You deserved it 5 275

By wookieewhosshe - 19/03/2019 13:00 - United Kingdom - Sutton Coldfield

Today, my building's fire alarm went off. Unfortunately, this coincided with sexy time, and the loud alarm made me jumpy, making it extremely difficult to untie my naked boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 125

You deserved it 397

By Drill Drilled - 15/04/2015 22:12 - United States - Lake Elsinore

Today, I tripped while rushing to my classes. In a desperate attempt to regain my balance, I grabbed the nearest thing to me. A fire alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 418

You deserved it 3 979

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 260

By wellhellothere - 17/04/2011 07:25 - United States

Today, the fire alarm went off in my dorm. Not only was it 30 degrees outside, but I was in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 984

You deserved it 3 319

Self-own

By Anonymous - 20/01/2021 08:01

Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 136

Oh dear…

By Wet Britches - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Portland

Today, on my rush to get home from work to use the bathroom, I hit a deer. It startled me so badly that I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 037

You deserved it 1 732

By esoog - 19/05/2011 17:38 - United States

Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about to crash into my house. I was so scared, I peed myself and passed out. It was just my cell phone vibrating under my pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 525

You deserved it 48 400

Next

Top comments

allmidnighteyes 10

Sunday 8 May 2011 1:15

No, **** you. Those jokes are neither clever nor funny. Eat a bowl of dicks.

DocBastard 38

Sunday 8 May 2011 1:18

The big question here is why is your anus so ******* weak? Maybe you should have gone with the small Anal Intruder 3000 rather than the Every1luvsboners Grande size.

Comments

hombrepollo 0

Sunday 8 May 2011 1:23

we've finally found the brown note!

whcwtexan 0

Sunday 8 May 2011 1:29

WIN!!!

ant1078 7

Sunday 8 May 2011 1:28

I can honestly say that I've never actually pissed or shat maself when I've been scared... is that just me? coz I've always found it weird that ppl do that!

SayWhatsReal 0

Sunday 8 May 2011 1:29

Looks like there was an emergency with your ass

kyanisaurus 0

Sunday 8 May 2011 1:29

talk about lighting shit in fire...

kyanisaurus 0

Sunday 8 May 2011 1:35

on*

spelly2650 0

Sunday 8 May 2011 1:33

shit :|

Keffin 0

Sunday 8 May 2011 1:34

I shit myself too when the fire alarm went off. thank god I was in the washroom.

HeavyMetalViking 0

Sunday 8 May 2011 8:55

Same thing happened to me after I had already cleared my bowels. I merely farted my pants in surprise.

hiyourcute 0

Sunday 8 May 2011 1:36

Scared shitless? No shit. I guess you're just shit outta luck...

yaer 4

Sunday 8 May 2011 1:38

YDI for forgetting to put your buttplug...

AaronTkr 0

Sunday 8 May 2011 1:41

you beast.

Crazy4Christ 0

Sunday 8 May 2011 1:42

saw, I'm sorry op!

PinkRoboto 0

Sunday 8 May 2011 1:51

you saw it happen o.O

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my roommate wanted me to try out a new bus route home, I knew it might take longer but she really wanted me to try, so I went with her. After waiting for ages at The Exchange bus stop for the last bus home, we missed it, and had to take an Uber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 174

Today, the girl I love who friendzoned me called to talk. She shared the marvelous things she'd done for her friend's birthday, then said, "You had a recent birthday too." Then she laughed. We'd talked multiple times without her mentioning my birthday. She ignored it on Facebook. Time for no contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 194

The Top

Today, my fiancée decided to go on a "vacation." Our wedding is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 908

You deserved it 4 060

Today, the $800, large capacity, professional carpet steam cleaner my husband supposedly bought me for Christmas got "lost in the mail". So did the refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 217

You deserved it 311

Today, while driving my kids to school, my son said, "Why don't you find another place to live, so we can just live with daddy?" Then my daughter added, "Yeah, 'cause we LOVE Daddy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 353

You deserved it 8 494

Today, it was my 19th birthday. My boss let me out early to celebrate. On my way home I was hit by a man doing 65 in a 40mph stretch of road. My car was completely destroyed. I spent the rest of my birthday sitting in the ER being treated for a pinched shoulder nerve and whiplash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 914

You deserved it 2 548

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 619

You deserved it 2 732

Today, my mom sent me to a counselor she knew "through the church" so that I could get some stressors off my chest. Worst idea ever. This "counselor" invalidated everything I had to say and basically told me to pray the issues away, all while completely ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 135