Kids: Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them...

By TiredMum - 16/10/2013 13:33 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 132

You deserved it 7 106

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/10/2012 16:17 - Philippines - Makati

Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 395

You deserved it 3 357

By I hate children - 18/08/2014 12:10 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 191

You deserved it 5 169

Masters of mischief

By Anonymous - 18/07/2024 16:00 - United States - Salem

Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 144

Goals!

By faitesdesgosses - 19/05/2014 14:27 - France - Mantes-la-ville

Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like to have when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 194

You deserved it 7 131

By nosestealer - 07/07/2013 21:57 - Canada - Brampton

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 477

You deserved it 9 866

Merry Xmas

By Anonymous - 26/12/2014 05:59 - United States - Jeromesville

Today, a friend had invited me to Christmas dinner since I have no family close by. When I got there, she told me that her and her husband had forgotten they had another dinner to go to, and asked if I would watch their kids for them. They each grabbed a handful of cookies I had baked and rushed out the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 202

You deserved it 2 901

By Anonymous - 19/02/2010 20:36 - United States

Today, I discovered that when business is slow at my family-owned store, my daughter and another employee make a habit of sneaking away to the back room. I have literally been paying this kid to screw around with my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 459

You deserved it 5 206

By ScaredDad - 02/05/2019 12:00

Today, I needed to grab something from the garage. As soon as the door closed, I heard a little click sound. My one-year-old seems to have figured out the door lock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 862

You deserved it 255

Back to square one

By Anonymous - 05/05/2009 03:39 - United States

Today, I was babysitting for my neighbors. Their 5 year-old had finally fallen asleep at 11 after two hours of stories and songs. No sooner had I tiptoed out of the room did I realize that my phone had dropped out of my pocket onto the bed. It was ringing. It was their mother checking in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 234

You deserved it 7 733

By pigtails - 16/01/2013 12:21 - United Kingdom - Thetford

Today, management told me that I couldn't have a doorbell on my door. How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 416

You deserved it 3 238

BellaBear90 27

Wednesday 16 October 2013 18:49

Smart cookies :)

pam241 15

Wednesday 16 October 2013 18:49

Genius kids you got there

Comments

jh921971 10

Thursday 17 October 2013 6:05

Your kids know cooperation at 5. I'd call that a good thing.

Horris 3

Thursday 17 October 2013 6:10

I'm so sorry you have smart kids.

Deadmike 7

Thursday 17 October 2013 6:27

Good Girls :) and finally someone who has passed on good genes unlike of all the dumb kids people write about..

hannahnicole3196 4

Thursday 17 October 2013 8:21

So cute!

kumarina 35

Thursday 17 October 2013 9:00

Smart kids!

anonymousvoice 5

Thursday 17 October 2013 10:25

I can't say your life sucks...but what I can say with no hesitation, is that you have two very... smart cookies:P

simsgirlgem 25

Thursday 17 October 2013 12:32

start them on books and activities like origami to channel that evil genius complex

mxgirl1998 26

Thursday 17 October 2013 13:50

Time for the high shelf..

condiment_queen 13

Thursday 17 October 2013 14:27

Yeop. Way to have daughters that at age 5 are proving they will do anything to get junk food. So..... You'll be willing to pay for weight loss surgery when they hit their teens and can't fit thru a door? Real funny then.

Medication 10

Thursday 17 October 2013 16:51

I was so pressed for sugar as a kid, that I would steal Kool-aide packets from the kitchen, and then hide under my bed and eat the powder. Sucked having a dentist as a mom sometimes.