Kids: Today, my five year old niece decided to wake me up by shoving...

By my ears are dying - 22/06/2011 18:37 - United States

Today, my five year old niece decided to wake me up by shoving blasting earphones in my ears. Five hours later I can still hear Justin Bieber shrieking "Baby". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 432

You deserved it 5 351

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By unfortunateMother - 18/09/2012 19:51 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I found a Justin Bieber shrine in my daughter's closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 205

You deserved it 4 023

By shadowsorel - 30/08/2012 20:34 - United States - Chicago

Today, I have a cold, and was stuck sleeping in bed. My roommate decided to wake me up by sticking headphones in my ears and playing heavy metal on full volume. This is the third time this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 407

You deserved it 2 662

By bodhimae - 03/05/2009 07:15 - France

Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 095

You deserved it 2 376

By christinabear - 15/04/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 893

You deserved it 88 875

By terdberglerforlyfe - 07/12/2014 20:54 - Brazil - Mogi Das Cruzes

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 811

You deserved it 4 398

By fuckyouharddad - 15/04/2014 19:24 - United States - Sacramento

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 489

You deserved it 6 614

Great relationship you got there…

By anon - 26/10/2022 00:00

Today, I had to blast music, turn the lights on, and physically drag my 29 year-old girlfriend out of bed to wake her up. All the while, she verbally abused me. This is the only way to wake her up, and if I don't do it, she will sleep through the day and then scream at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 513

Make it stop

By dee - 03/07/2011 05:36 - United States

Today, I sang a sweet lullaby to my two year-old son. In the process, he smacked me in the face and told me to please stop. My sister sings to him all the time and he loves it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 023

You deserved it 6 456

By shadowfigure - 23/01/2011 05:47 - United States

Today, I was doing karaoke with my girlfriend's family, when the 5 year old came over and shut off my microphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 522

You deserved it 8 328

By badmom101 - 16/05/2009 11:26 - Canada

Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 690

You deserved it 6 400

mk58 31

Thursday 23 June 2011 0:11

Your eardrums are scarred for life.

anthony287 3

Thursday 23 June 2011 0:21

Rebecca black is worse lol

Comments

darkness4dummies 0

Thursday 23 June 2011 2:03

wake her up by playin zetsubou billy at full blast RETALIATION

Shadow_Phantom 26

Thursday 23 June 2011 2:09

**** yeah. FYL, OP.

julialoves0521 0

Thursday 23 June 2011 2:12

i think you lost your hearing from the song itself not the volume.....;)

Eiregal 7

Thursday 23 June 2011 2:12

i was in a restaurant having lunch today and that song came on! i thought it was a woman singing! hahaha oh shit

angelboo 0

Thursday 23 June 2011 2:16

sorry bout that I hate justin Bruner I had to listen to him five hours yesterday cuz of my sister !! :(

illegalsarcasm 3

Thursday 23 June 2011 2:21

I don't know what's worse: being deafened by loud sound directly in the ears or Justin's voice.

Keirakun 0

Thursday 23 June 2011 2:21

My god when is he gonna die?

MrsBieberEfron 0

Thursday 23 June 2011 2:24

hahah that's awesome!!

dancerNsinger4li 0

Thursday 23 June 2011 2:31

hey chick pick one justine beiber or zoey efron!

pinkspaceboundro 0

Thursday 23 June 2011 2:28

I died laughing at mrs assy pants!!!

MrSassypants 32

Thursday 23 June 2011 2:34

116 one of my comments (even though I meant it to be Mr.Sassypants) or what bomers called me？

BigOrca 2

Thursday 23 June 2011 2:37

Are u still alive. If you are I'm impressed. JB makes me want to crash my car into a telephone pole when I hear his songs.

Keywords

Awkward Embarrassing Miscellaneous Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Dogs Animals Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu," remarked how I look "so grown up for your age," and asked what grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 774

You deserved it 2 046

Today, I tried to talk to my teenage son about healthy masculinity. He said, "Yeah Mom, I know. Lift weights and eat red meat and fish. Can I go?" Not what I meant at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 357

The Top

Today, I got slapped in the face for stifling a yawn at my grandmother’s funeral. I wasn’t being disrespectful; I have a condition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 666

You deserved it 142

Today, I had to give a massage to my ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend as they got a couples’ massage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 114

You deserved it 158

Today, my mom found out that paper is made from trees. She read it on a garbage truck. I then had to explain to her how it's made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 142

Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 049

You deserved it 3 060

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy if he bit me on the lips. Normally, I would have enjoyed it, if the lips in question were the ones on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 512

You deserved it 5 209

Today, I went for a really important job interview. She loved my portfolio and we got along really well. But I guess that a corner of my skirt got caught underneath my shoe when I stood up to shake her hand, exposing my teeny-tiny underwear and neglected bikini line. She didn't shake my hand back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 381

You deserved it 9 817

Same thing different taste

Great relationship you got there…

Make it stop

Top comments

Comments