"Mommy I think there's a monster under my bed!" "There's no mo-OMG IT HAS MY ARM!! HELP! Just kidding the monster only eats liars. Good night."

Adoption

Make it a reality then OP *buys loads of thumbtacks* lol No but seriously glad your child is ok OP.

Tell her to remember the story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf the next time she has a real medical emergency and you just say , "Mmmm hmm, that's nice dear"

I'm wondering why they are open and in your child's reach at that age?

Your kid's sense of humor is kinda *lowers sunglasses* tacky.

Another reason not to have kids....

Trolling...the youth stages

I vaguely remember pulling a dick move like this when I was five, I told my mother that my grandmother's room (since we all lived together) was on fire, and she freaked the hell out. I didn't learn until years later that she has PTSD after almost dying in an explosion. I feel really bad about it now

Wow, you seem like a good mom. If I would've told my mom I swallowed a tack she would've just said "You'll shit it out eventually"