Kids: Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer...

By potatoebee - 03/04/2012 18:19 - United States - Clover

Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 726

You deserved it 27 242

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Same thing different taste

By kewtness_17 - 01/10/2011 23:10 - United States

Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 557

You deserved it 12 175

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 21:57 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 561

You deserved it 4 700

Sunday funday

By Anonymous - 30/01/2023 01:30

Today, my 6 year-old daughter decided to let out a loud fart in the middle of a quiet church service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 408

By mew - 25/10/2011 18:04 - Canada

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 175

You deserved it 3 236

By Anonymous - 23/07/2016 23:04 - United States - Atlanta

Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 871

You deserved it 19 273

By Anonymous - 03/07/2015 20:51 - United States

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 109

You deserved it 4 035

By sbutler - 14/07/2011 20:14 - United States

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 449

You deserved it 51 281

By MommyProblems - 19/01/2014 05:17 - United States

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 037

You deserved it 6 860

Parroting

By Anonymous - 06/07/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, my toddler repeated a very inappropriate word I'd said when I'd stubbed my toe. He chose to do this in the middle of a crowded supermarket, loudly, and repeatedly. Now the whole town probably thinks I have questionable parenting skills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 209

By ohcrap - 02/08/2011 04:58 - United States

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 484

You deserved it 16 131

Jakesterk96 8

Wednesday 4 April 2012 0:18

Bend down? How tall do you think a 4 year old is?

Lexiloulynn 2

Wednesday 4 April 2012 0:13

I wonder why he bit your butt in the first place...

Comments

vidamasbella 0

Wednesday 4 April 2012 6:48

why would you swear at a four year old to begin with? smh poor kid!

ProhibitionRose 14

Wednesday 4 April 2012 6:52

You need to buy your kid a muzzle. :| seriously though, you need to break him of that habit fast so he won't get thrown out of school for biting other children.

americananarchy 3

Wednesday 4 April 2012 6:54

Sounds like someones getting a head start on pimpin. And why the **** were you at church on a Tuesday.

Random951 12

Wednesday 4 April 2012 6:59

If you keep swearing like that, it may come back to bite you in the butt.

omzz05 2

Wednesday 4 April 2012 7:08

Yu ppl disgust me

THE_A_TEEN 27

Wednesday 4 April 2012 7:28

People with bad grammar disgust me.

Random951 12

Wednesday 4 April 2012 17:10

Actually, I did use correct grammar. After I saw your post, I checked my sentence on a grammar correcting website, and I realized that my sentence had correct grammar.