Transportation: Today, my friend decided to jump out of a moving car. I had to...

By dmanrique - 04/10/2011 15:10 - United States

Today, my friend decided to jump out of a moving car. I had to explain to the nice old lady who stopped that my friend who was convulsing on the ground wasn't on drugs, he's just really stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 459

You deserved it 3 221

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 28/12/2010 18:03 - Canada

Today, while driving home from basketball practice, I noticed an old lady struggling to get up from a fall. I stopped to help her up and make sure she was fine, and in the meantime, a teenager decided to hop into my car and crash it into a telephone pole and run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 094

You deserved it 4 051

Don't drugs and drive

By Anonymous - 03/01/2022 13:59

Today, a friend of mine borrowed my car, drove it on drugs, fell asleep at the wheel, and smashed it. Don’t worry though, he’s fine, but my car was described as a “write off”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 288

Gross, dude!

By Anonymous - 27/05/2010 02:30 - United States

Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 411

You deserved it 3 182

By Harejordan - 04/02/2009 16:44 - United States

Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 161

You deserved it 36 440

By Misterhippo - 02/09/2009 00:04 - United States

Today, my best friend thought it would be funny push me off my bike. He thought it was even funnier when the paramedic accidentally dropped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 091

You deserved it 3 084

Prank culture has gone too far

By qhorin halflung - 22/07/2015 17:35

Today, on the bus, my blood sugar level got too low and I passed out. When I came to, the woman next to me was hitting me, saying she needed to get off and that she didn't have time for my, "stupid fucking prank." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 489

You deserved it 2 178

Funny how?

By funnyguyNOT - 05/04/2009 21:39 - United States

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 306

You deserved it 285 179

By Nemesis2747 - 24/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 818

You deserved it 3 322

By Anonymous - 11/02/2016 01:15 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, one of my friends made it to school. He has been sick recently, missing days out of the week. When I saw him, I greeted him with, "Were you dying yesterday?" Apparently he wasn't, but his grandmother really did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 408

You deserved it 4 326

With friends like these…

By marz88 - 24/10/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 697

You deserved it 7 135

cheesenuggrt 5

Tuesday 4 October 2011 18:53

Get new friends?

NoNotTheFace 8

Tuesday 4 October 2011 18:57

Quick, while he's still on the ground, kick him in the nuts, hard. Boobs like him should never reproduce.

Comments

hannahcorrine 0

Tuesday 4 October 2011 20:56

Happens to all of us,op

Jayz29 0

Tuesday 4 October 2011 21:13

There's always one dumb ass

Aweh_Olivia 13

Tuesday 4 October 2011 21:17

Hahahah , That's hilarious! I want a friend like that ;)

th4m4ster 6

Tuesday 4 October 2011 21:43

I think it's better if u just said he was high or drunk, saves u both some embarassment

THE_A_TEEN 27

Tuesday 4 October 2011 21:48

Thanks, i love you. I love you to, mr. niel patrick harris (another reference)

nothingforfreez 2

Tuesday 4 October 2011 21:49

How is this a FML?

Realizes 3

Tuesday 4 October 2011 21:54

Dumbass..

nothingforfreez 2

Tuesday 4 October 2011 21:56

I was moderated for asking how this is a fml?? seriously?? fml...

Lovesglee 3

Tuesday 4 October 2011 22:18

Omg thats awesome!!!! :D

luvlyric 5

Tuesday 4 October 2011 22:20

Total winner.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Neighbours Awkward Wanker Halloween Lonely Jealousy Love Party Family Argument Fight Animals Cats Parents Health Embarrassing Sports Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings YouTube TikTok Pranks Dogs Cute Work AITA

The Top

Today, while working my overnight shift, I went into the isolation room to find some items for a former client. The door fell shut and the magnetic lock went to work. Both unit telephones and my cell phone were lying on the desk, and I waited four hours for my supervisor to rescue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 683

You deserved it 4 845

Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 860

You deserved it 2 751

The Top

Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend. As we walked back home from the cinema, he was checking his phone, when suddenly someone grabbed it and ran off. I had to be the one to go run after the thug because my 23-year-old boyfriend froze on the spot, crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 996

You deserved it 5 664

Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 241

You deserved it 36 256

Today, I went out with my best friend and her hot brother. Upon our exit out of the restaurant I walked right into the glass door and rebounded back off it. The whole restaurant was silent as I shamefully walked out only to trip on the curb outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 470

You deserved it 7 810

Today my Assistant Manager decided to pull a prank on me by walking up behind me and screaming my name. I screamed in terror and then swung around and punched him, full force, dead center in the chest, right in front of my supervisor, manager, and several other employees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 422

You deserved it 271

Today, my dad made me stick my gut out and walk around awkwardly, just so I'd look pregnant and let him get away with parking in an "expectant mothers" parking spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 619

You deserved it 4 888

Today, after finally applying myself and busting my butt all semester, I found out the school is accusing me of cheating because they couldn't believe I could have gotten near-perfect grades considering my grade history. If this is how society rewards academic turnarounds, why do I even bother? FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 016

You deserved it 1 196