Transportation: Today, my friend decided to jump out of a moving car. I had to...

By dmanrique - 04/10/2011 15:10 - United States

Today, my friend decided to jump out of a moving car. I had to explain to the nice old lady who stopped that my friend who was convulsing on the ground wasn't on drugs, he's just really stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 462

You deserved it 3 223

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 28/12/2010 18:03 - Canada

Today, while driving home from basketball practice, I noticed an old lady struggling to get up from a fall. I stopped to help her up and make sure she was fine, and in the meantime, a teenager decided to hop into my car and crash it into a telephone pole and run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 098

You deserved it 4 053

Don't drugs and drive

By Anonymous - 03/01/2022 13:59

Today, a friend of mine borrowed my car, drove it on drugs, fell asleep at the wheel, and smashed it. Don’t worry though, he’s fine, but my car was described as a “write off”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004

You deserved it 288

Gross, dude!

By Anonymous - 27/05/2010 02:30 - United States

Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 411

You deserved it 3 182

By Harejordan - 04/02/2009 16:44 - United States

Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 162

You deserved it 36 440

By Misterhippo - 02/09/2009 00:04 - United States

Today, my best friend thought it would be funny push me off my bike. He thought it was even funnier when the paramedic accidentally dropped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 091

You deserved it 3 084

Prank culture has gone too far

By qhorin halflung - 22/07/2015 17:35

Today, on the bus, my blood sugar level got too low and I passed out. When I came to, the woman next to me was hitting me, saying she needed to get off and that she didn't have time for my, "stupid fucking prank." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 490

You deserved it 2 178

Funny how?

By funnyguyNOT - 05/04/2009 21:39 - United States

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 307

You deserved it 285 185

By Nemesis2747 - 24/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 819

You deserved it 3 322

By Anonymous - 11/02/2016 01:15 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, one of my friends made it to school. He has been sick recently, missing days out of the week. When I saw him, I greeted him with, "Were you dying yesterday?" Apparently he wasn't, but his grandmother really did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 408

You deserved it 4 326

With friends like these…

By marz88 - 24/10/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 698

You deserved it 7 135

cheesenuggrt 5

Tuesday 4 October 2011 18:53

Get new friends?

NoNotTheFace 8

Tuesday 4 October 2011 18:57

Quick, while he's still on the ground, kick him in the nuts, hard. Boobs like him should never reproduce.

Comments

ALEXLASFLA 0

Wednesday 5 October 2011 2:18

now I wanna try that now

BD_Swingin 0

Wednesday 5 October 2011 3:52

Damn kids jumping out of cars and such..

alival 12

Wednesday 5 October 2011 4:06

R u suuure he's not on drugs? U never know what people do behind closed doors!

SexySheWolf 0

Wednesday 5 October 2011 4:30

haha not to be mean but hes a dumbass

yankfan89 27

Wednesday 5 October 2011 4:32

This is why child locks are on car doors

j_cat187 19

Wednesday 5 October 2011 4:56

Wtf all I did was tell him that I was the devil.

j_cat187 19

Wednesday 5 October 2011 5:10

You are the worst babysitter ever. You should of tackled him and tried to calm him down.

afulks78 11

Wednesday 5 October 2011 5:53

Your a good friend :)

dora2297 0

Wednesday 5 October 2011 8:15

Haa that would of hurt lol and god love that old lady lol

lazerus1974 8

Wednesday 5 October 2011 14:05

Put your boyfriend down, keep the dog.

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The Top

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 580

You deserved it 5 576

Today, my old boss is such an arsehole that not only did he fire me last week, he completely forgot about firing me and when he saw me in the shop as a customer, he yelled at me for being late and out of uniform. I swear his mother didn’t birth him, she shat him out the other hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 86

The Top

Today, I was walking down the hallway when I stepped in an ice cold pile of cat vomit. I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 155

Today, this coming January in 2024 will be our 3 year anniversary, with loads of engagement talk in the air. Even though I found, "Congrats, you've earned Tinder VIP Status !" on my boyfriend's phone from about 8 months ago. I literally feel sick to my stomach. I was also in the hospital sick when he apparently did this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 166

Today, I had the mother of a five year old come in for parent teacher conferences. When I told her that her son was very smart, but he often made up fantastical stories about his home life, she burst into tears. She then ran out of my office crying, "I knew it! I knew he was a sociopath!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 951

You deserved it 1 735

Today, in a big argument, my sister uninvited my mom to her wedding. Trying to comfort my mom, I rented Mamma Mia knowing she's wanted to see it for a while. Turns out, Mamma Mia is a mother/daughter feel-good about the daughters wedding. I had no idea, and my mom cried the whole movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 370

You deserved it 71 447

Today, I found out that even after having had my tubes tied, I am in fact pregnant. I have an 8-month-old son and his father just remarried another woman 2 months ago. Neither of them believe that the new baby is his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 235

You deserved it 423

Today, I was taking a shower at the gym when hearing a loud popping noise. Surprised and startled, I jumped and slipped, hitting my head against the shower wall that left a small gash. The pop noise was just someone blowing bubbles from their gum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 589

You deserved it 5 698