Miscellaneous: Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk,...

By Anonymous - 16/07/2009 01:53 - United States

Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 427

You deserved it 6 089

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Gross, dude!

By Anonymous - 27/05/2010 02:30 - United States

Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 411

You deserved it 3 182

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 253

You deserved it 382

By Sam - 03/12/2011 10:03 - United States

Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 035

You deserved it 9 629

With friends like these…

By marz88 - 24/10/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 697

You deserved it 7 135

TW: gross

By Unimpressed - 03/06/2009 10:40 - Australia

Today, I was taking a taxi home after drinking too much. I started to feel sick and, not wanting to be charged the cab cleaning fee, threw up into my handbag instead. When we got to my place I then had to fish through my bag for my wallet to pay the driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 518

You deserved it 58 983

By IhatebeingtheDD - 15/10/2010 14:08 - United States

Today, I was the designated driver for my friend's 21st birthday. On the way home from the bar, he threw up all the pasta and tequila he'd had onto the back seat of my car, and told me it was part of his whole party plan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 452

You deserved it 4 086

Oh what a night

By EmployeeOfTheMonth - 09/06/2013 23:33 - United States - Montpelier

Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 465

You deserved it 9 137

Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took my best friend to an '80s party. She drank too much and ended up puking all over the interior and exterior of my car, as well as inside my right legwarmer on the 30 mile trip back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 306

You deserved it 4 716

Great seeing you again

By Kristin - 03/01/2011 04:14 - United States

Today, my husband's old fraternity brother came to visit. He fell out of his car, puked, then passed out drunk in our driveway. We got him to the bathroom, where he fell asleep. He woke up at 4am, wandered around the house naked, pooped in my trash can, then passed out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 592

You deserved it 3 911

By gingerbread - 18/12/2017 18:00 - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 990

You deserved it 3 710

Narzhul 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 17:06

Contrary to popular FML belief, being at fault does not necessarily equal deserving it. Was he at fault for making the mistake of taking such a risk? Yes. Did he deserve being puked on for helping a friend? No.

GetTheFuckOut 7

Sunday 30 October 2011 17:10

#40: Lmao. You're a dumbass. She drove the drunk friend home. He didn't drive himself. Read it more thoroughly next time.

Comments

the_mailman 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 10:28

i hope you stole all the money out of his wallet and threw him in a bush, because you're probably the kind of person who would do that to someone for something like this.

nodbor 11

Thursday 16 July 2009 10:41

let me see..... he always pukes when he's drunk...... he wants a ride...........ok, get in. so how many times till you get it right? no more rides for Mr. Puke Face.

ZuRG_fml 7

Thursday 16 July 2009 12:03

There's an established pattern here. I don't understand what the OP thought was gonna happen.

rabbit_fml 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 10:42

Tell your friend to stop being a piece of ******* shit

cactus_fml 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 10:51

No good deed goes unpunished.

christopherlove 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 11:39

I like the part where your drunk friend vomited on you.

nickerbockers3 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 11:42

Haha OH SNAP

24788 6

Thursday 16 July 2009 11:48

Everyone always says that before they drink.

Pastor_Rich 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 11:50

liquor is the devils spit

mikakarie 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 12:50

Almost made it.

aback 4

Thursday 16 July 2009 13:48

"Ah-! I knew I'd forgotten something! Here it is--*blargh*" ::stumbles off happily:: You're going to have to set up something like a feed bag for horses, except it will be a puke bag for your drunken friend.