Kids: Today, my friend's kid chased me with a rusty, sharp tent peg...

By FuckLife - 11/02/2012 13:41 - Australia

Today, my friend's kid chased me with a rusty, sharp tent peg and threatened to kill me. When I finally got him to calm down he ran off to his room. Later, I found the tent peg under his pillow with a note that said my name. My friend thinks it's hilarious. I am staying here for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 472

You deserved it 2 490

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/03/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 583

You deserved it 6 348

Affectionate, huh?

By littlemiss - 10/02/2013 16:17 - Canada - Whitby

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 668

You deserved it 3 051

By ihateteenagers - 30/12/2010 02:12 - United States

Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 579

You deserved it 10 085

By Noname - 27/02/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, during a game of manhunt, my brother and his friends thought it would be funny to tie me to a telelphone pole with my very own multicolored jumprope from when I was younger. They left me there. My mom drove by, stared and then laughed, She kept driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 695

You deserved it 5 131

Mean Girls

By Anonymous - 07/06/2022 16:00 - United States

Today, my house was pelted with rotten eggs. Apparently, my daughter and her friends are bullying a boy in her class. So, his older brother set out for revenge. According to the threatening note he left, "This is just the start if they don't leave him alone." My daughter thinks this means she should bully harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 1 728

By ellen77 - 13/09/2013 05:55 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 038

You deserved it 5 432

By NaomiMadison - 30/07/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 126

You deserved it 3 145

By Jim - 19/04/2016 17:25 - United States

Today, my son is having housing issues, so I let him stay at my place for a while. Today, he found out that the quiet, dorky-looking professor who lives next door is an MMA fighter. He tried to break into the guy's house in the middle of the night and is now in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 391

You deserved it 4 202

By I_Am_The_Edge - 11/06/2009 16:06 - United States

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 745

You deserved it 865 846

By I fathered a pussy. - 14/06/2013 22:12 - United States - Lakeland

Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 013

You deserved it 4 948

xLoLa_fml 6

Saturday 11 February 2012 20:17

What were you doing looking under his pillow...?

madelinebriana 11

Saturday 11 February 2012 20:16

That's terrifying.

Comments

bobchickenfart 5

Sunday 12 February 2012 0:04

lol your ass is cooked

perdix 29

Sunday 12 February 2012 0:20

If you survive the week, you'll get a new nickname: Peggy.

perdix 29

Sunday 12 February 2012 3:08

You can call the boy Rusty.

ilulife 4

Sunday 12 February 2012 0:35

Better sleep with one eye open for the next few days pal, I think the kid's got some mental issues

rachiisid143 0

Sunday 12 February 2012 0:39

Thats disturbing :/

Nissen 0

Sunday 12 February 2012 1:00

i hope u could defend yourself against a lil kid with a peg.

le_troll 0

Sunday 12 February 2012 1:17

Wait til he's about to sit down then put it on his chair.

sweetdreams20 0

Sunday 12 February 2012 1:21

Coulda been a chainsaw. Consider yourself lucky

doin_it 1

Sunday 12 February 2012 1:33

This isn't even funny,it's ****** scary.....I feel bad for you! :(

lizard399 0

Sunday 12 February 2012 1:53

She's there for a week, she doesn't live there.

chels1994 11

Sunday 12 February 2012 1:55

What did you do that made him want to kill you that bad?

Keywords

Miscellaneous Sleep Awkward Love Weddings Television Money Relatable Snow Transportation Annoying Family Kids Pregnancy Mental health Empathy Toxic Food Animals Cats Argument Gamers Health Valentine's Day Gross Homeowners Home improvement Babysitter Drugs Music

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I agree, your life sucks 9 345

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I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 191

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I agree, your life sucks 41 432

You deserved it 21 606

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I agree, your life sucks 11 904

You deserved it 52 568

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Same thing different taste

Affectionate, huh?

Mean Girls

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