Intimacy: Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going...

By rejected - 23/04/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 179

You deserved it 79 401

Back to school: Courses and confusion
When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

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Same thing different taste

By 0ptimu5 - 11/09/2009 04:39 - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 694

You deserved it 43 464

Misleading

By KL. - 05/06/2009 19:46 - Canada

Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 499

You deserved it 5 015

Reality check

By DerrickUhl - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Napa

Today, I finally turned 21, so my friends and I decided to go to a club. There, I met this hot waitress and we were really hitting it off. I ordered a drink. She replied, "No problem, kiddo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 126

You deserved it 7 181

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 00:31 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 189

You deserved it 21 635

Cheers

By ineedanotherdrink - 07/08/2009 09:43 - United States

Today, I went out drinking with a friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, she said, "Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?" Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy by the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 840

You deserved it 5 541

Awww, my feefees

By Erick - 11/05/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 270

By hihipanda - 30/08/2009 12:58 - Singapore

Today, my friend and I went to a bar for drinks. I noticed this cute girl and went over to say "Hi." I had a great conversation with her and I asked for her number before she left. She passed it to me on a piece of paper with instructions specifying for my friend to call her and not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 519

You deserved it 3 330

Fishing

By notgoth - 27/07/2014 22:17 - Netherlands - Rijen

Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 647

You deserved it 8 430

By jailey - 26/07/2016 02:26

Today, my friend decided that we should go clubbing together to "catch up". Her version of catching up is me standing beside her making out with some random dude in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 645

You deserved it 1 290

Pleased to meet you

By footinmouth - 13/09/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 001

You deserved it 14 087

Jimboom 11

Thursday 23 April 2009 12:15

You tried to use a cheesy pickup line and you got shot down. Oh yea stud, FYL indeed.

danza_fml 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 12:09

This just made my day :)

Comments

upintheorange 5

Tuesday 18 May 2010 0:08

PWNED

sizel1 0

Saturday 17 July 2010 7:02

BURN!!!!!

llllJakubllll 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 4:18

ydi "stud"

luvu4evah 0

Saturday 5 March 2011 19:22

totally just made my day!

cookiecookieluv 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 16:13

you+girl+cheesy pickup line= you're going home alone.

ACP_97 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 7:37

hah. :P

staylorball21 1

Saturday 23 April 2011 17:23

IDIOT AHAHAHAHAHAHAH

pandabearsmiles 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 23:06

Pickup Lines work on some girls. Some girls like funny guys, so if you walk up with a cheesy pickup line and a joking attitude, it works.(:

Sesh54 7

Wednesday 13 July 2011 6:37

..............................BAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHA

lifehatingguy 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 8:40

LAWL huge bummer for you, maybe good for her but still LAWl

Keywords

Annoying Education University Confused Sex AITA Divorce Awkward Love Dreams Relatable Miscellaneous Embarrassing Racism Work Weird Pregnancy Kids Motherhood Cute Harassment Animals Family Poopoo peepee Surprise Food Health Roommate Texting My ex

The Top

Ahoy ship's boys and girls ! Today we're heading to France. Be ready to face rain, storm and beer because Lille is welcoming us, and believe me, it's not Los Angeles. Do you all have your raincoats? -Bonjour ! First of all, present yourself ma jol...

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 9

Today, while I was showering in my dorm, a hand reached through the curtain and grabbed my ass. I hit the person on the other side of the curtain. He opened the curtain, thinking that I was his girlfriend. He apologized, then went on to have sex with his girlfriend in the shower stall next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 926

You deserved it 3 628

The Top

Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 865

You deserved it 2 715

Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 848

You deserved it 4 749

Today, my friends tried to set me up with another nice, quiet girl. My type are girls who can do their own oil change. I'm mute and tired of people assuming I'm either the nice quiet guy or a complete jerk who won't talk to anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 128

You deserved it 294

Today, my husband, during casual family chat, told my CHILDREN all about my childhood sexual abuse as I stared at him in disbelief. He doesn't think he did anything wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 600

You deserved it 127

Today, I walked into two things. The first was a spiderweb. The second, due to blind panic, was oncoming traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 948

You deserved it 5 845

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 897

You deserved it 5 043