Intimacy: Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going...

By rejected - 23/04/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 181

You deserved it 79 403

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By 0ptimu5 - 11/09/2009 04:39 - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 695

You deserved it 43 471

Misleading

By KL. - 05/06/2009 19:46 - Canada

Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 503

You deserved it 5 016

Reality check

By DerrickUhl - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Napa

Today, I finally turned 21, so my friends and I decided to go to a club. There, I met this hot waitress and we were really hitting it off. I ordered a drink. She replied, "No problem, kiddo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 127

You deserved it 7 184

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 00:31 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 189

You deserved it 21 640

Cheers

By ineedanotherdrink - 07/08/2009 09:43 - United States

Today, I went out drinking with a friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, she said, "Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?" Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy by the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 845

You deserved it 5 541

Awww, my feefees

By Erick - 11/05/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 274

By hihipanda - 30/08/2009 12:58 - Singapore

Today, my friend and I went to a bar for drinks. I noticed this cute girl and went over to say "Hi." I had a great conversation with her and I asked for her number before she left. She passed it to me on a piece of paper with instructions specifying for my friend to call her and not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 521

You deserved it 3 332

Fishing

By notgoth - 27/07/2014 22:17 - Netherlands - Rijen

Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 650

You deserved it 8 435

By jailey - 26/07/2016 02:26

Today, my friend decided that we should go clubbing together to "catch up". Her version of catching up is me standing beside her making out with some random dude in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 647

You deserved it 1 290

Pleased to meet you

By footinmouth - 13/09/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 007

You deserved it 14 098

Jimboom 11

Thursday 23 April 2009 12:15

You tried to use a cheesy pickup line and you got shot down. Oh yea stud, FYL indeed.

danza_fml 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 12:09

This just made my day :)

Comments

evilmatty93 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 8:52

MAJORLY OWNED!!!

absolutezero1287 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 2:20

So what? That happens all the time. I know a guy that goes to clubs and wanders from chick to chick asking if they wanna ****. I don't go to clubs because I dislike the atmosphere. You wait in a long ass line and you have to dress a certain way, then when you wanna get a beer its like $7. Guys have to be 21+ to get in but chicks can get in if they're 18+. **** clubs. Go to bars.

iSmellNice 2

Wednesday 24 June 2009 16:40

That line was in Fired Up

DenElite 0

Sunday 26 July 2009 6:18

Rofl that was THE BEST comeback to that line ever

youre_all_idiots 0

Monday 24 August 2009 23:09

hahaha she wins.

ireply_w_lyrics 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:42

"...Every long lost dream led me to where you are Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars Pointing me on my way into your loving arms This much I know is true That God blessed the broken road That led me straight to you..."