Health: Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house...

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 074

You deserved it 5 417

The rhythm of the fight
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Same thing different taste

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 020

You deserved it 7 506

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 107

You deserved it 3 666

By DHarman - 25/05/2010 23:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 642

You deserved it 4 071

The best part of breaking up…

By Anonymous - 19/10/2009 23:51 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 048

You deserved it 8 844

By hero to zero - 04/07/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 134

You deserved it 15 187

By Anonymous - 15/04/2011 00:53 - Canada

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 621

You deserved it 36 079

By filipinoclari808 - 16/04/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 796

You deserved it 81 438

By xxx - 03/09/2017 04:29

Today, at a meeting, I had a heated argument with the only female employee at the office. A little later, I managed to hit her in the face with a door, giving her a bruise. Nobody believes it was an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 673

You deserved it 531

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 375

You deserved it 22 633

By Anonymous - 01/01/2013 10:30 - United States - Wichita

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 921

You deserved it 15 165

every1luvsboners 11

Wednesday 25 July 2012 0:53

That means now you can play the sympathy card to get a couple BJ's. Stretch that shit out for as long as you can.

Falassalond 16

Wednesday 25 July 2012 0:54

Sounds like you guys need a vacation. Have a nice trip!

Comments

Sanch101 7

Wednesday 25 July 2012 9:50

Isn't this more and FML for the girlfriend along the lines of "My boyfriend fell over at a party and people think I hit him and am a violent thug"?

Mister_Triangle 21

Wednesday 25 July 2012 13:22

I say play along with it and threaten to press charges. Your girlfriend has already proven herself to be a POS if she's not correcting people. Domestic violence is domestic violence; she'll either fess up and look like a fool or deny it and get felony charges. The witnesses will testify in your favor if she originally played it up, and your bruises serve as good evidence; even if she tries to tell the truth last minute, there's no reason anyone would believe her. So I say go all the way and teach her a lesson

SamanthaThe1st 22

Tuesday 19 December 2017 8:03

So you want her indicted for a crime she didn't commit? What if it were the other way around?

cumminside03 0

Wednesday 25 July 2012 13:58

Give her what she deserves .... A. Nicely placed back hand

Giati_fml 3

Wednesday 25 July 2012 15:24

id had told her to get ******

galacticstorm 6

Wednesday 25 July 2012 16:30

Mister,you are a vengeful genius

KaskStunter 4

Wednesday 25 July 2012 16:43

Nice try. Now go and tell the same lie to the people outside.

bizarre_ftw 21

Wednesday 25 July 2012 16:44

F her life then, who wants to be seen as the abusive one?

spottyblanket 8

Wednesday 25 July 2012 19:48

So you ruined someone elses house party but worry that you will look weak because a girl supposedly beat you...you two are both selfish. Don't go to house parties if you cannot control your temper. I bet you won't get invited next time--save it for at home!

Shade1982 20

Friday 3 May 2013 15:18

I'm not sure where you see them ruining the house party. If anything, he went out of his way to AVOID ruining the party. Anyway, I'm really wondering why her abusing him (as far as they know anyway) seems suddenly okay to everyone.

xmaximusx 12

Wednesday 25 July 2012 21:44

Awe high-school how i miss it sometimes

TrollPolice 0

Thursday 26 July 2012 6:27

It's funny how that works doesn't it? If a girl hits a guy it's considered funny, but if a guy hits a girl it's abuse. I know guys aren't supposed to hit girls, but what gives girls the right to hit guys?