Love: Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my...

By Sawarski - 07/01/2013 20:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 665

You deserved it 3 299

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/06/2016 23:24 - United States - Winder

Today, my girl and I got in a huge fight. Because I cuddled with her the wrong way. While I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 560

You deserved it 1 090

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 132

Sorry dear

By Empi - 29/11/2022 10:00

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night with a numb arm. When I tried to reposition it, it flew crazily and slapped my girlfriend in the face. My girlfriend, who was in a string of abusive relationships, and has severe PTSD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 168

On the move

By c-Ouch - 07/07/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my wife yelled at me for not helping her rearrange the furniture. I have a sprained shoulder and have been ordered by my doctor to avoid heavy lifting. She said, "Move the couch or sleep on it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 92

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 017

You deserved it 7 504

By Anonymous - 12/08/2012 09:23 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 152

You deserved it 2 367

Romantic move

By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 682

You deserved it 25 655

Romantic fool

By Idiot - 22/08/2009 18:44 - United States

Today, while watching a movie with my girlfriend, I had to go to the bathroom. As I returned, I thought it would be cute to jump over the side of the couch and land next to her. I accidentally landed on her arm and broke her wrist. It wasn't as cute as I expected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 829

You deserved it 38 838

By hotboxed - 13/07/2019 18:30

Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 611

You deserved it 393

By RomanceFail - 02/04/2015 12:51 - United States - Crestwood

Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 041

You deserved it 3 381

DocBastard 38

Monday 7 January 2013 22:47

Either you have a weak shoulder or her head is the size of a watermelon.

MsConfusedd 27

Monday 7 January 2013 22:48

Be thankful she didn't elbow your dick

Comments

dontpanic_fml 32

Tuesday 8 January 2013 6:30

I'm trying so hard to envision how a girl moving her head could incite screams of agony caused by a near shoulder dislocation and I just caaaaan't...perhaps you could keep it together a bit OP?

_VAL3NT1NA_ 6

Tuesday 8 January 2013 8:50

Women right? Gosh

ChancellorJ 7

Tuesday 8 January 2013 22:04

Sounds like you both overreacted.

JayFoShizzle 4

Tuesday 8 January 2013 23:56

Do you even lift?

Xotoolyxo 16

Wednesday 9 January 2013 4:54

Roll over and push her off the couch

SphinxJinx 0

Thursday 10 January 2013 1:11

Do you even know what having your arm dislocated feels like? Your body goes into shock so you wouldn't be screaming, you just wouldn't be able to move your arm and you may pass out from the shock. The pain comes in afterwards. Man up xD

emeraldmaz 9

Monday 3 June 2013 10:29

Well, that's not necessarily true - people react to different pains and injuries in different ways Also, OP said 'practically,' just meaning that his shoulder/arm was jerked in a way that felt incredibly painful.