Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend and I watched Juno. When the baby is born...

By Ouch - 21/10/2009 21:55 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and I watched Juno. When the baby is born in the film, I put my arm around my girlfriend and whispered in her ear that one day it could be us having a baby. She responded by punching me in the happy sacks and telling me I wasn't getting any from her in a long time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 119

You deserved it 32 417

New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…

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Same thing different taste

Rollercoaster

By Anonymous - 05/03/2010 12:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 717

You deserved it 3 659

By baron - 01/06/2009 17:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 681

You deserved it 7 573

By Jackedup - 18/05/2011 07:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 666

You deserved it 4 984

By captainuniverse - 14/05/2016 05:53 - United States - Nashville

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 102

You deserved it 1 286

By doomed - 22/08/2009 17:46 - United States

Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 433

You deserved it 6 700

By Anonymous - 07/01/2012 00:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me there was good news and bad news. Bad news: she's pregnant. Good news: I'm probably not the father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 394

You deserved it 4 404

By DumbFace714 - 14/02/2015 01:43 - United States - Santa Ana

Today, my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant. I thought that was good news, but then she said she wanted my boyfriend to be the father of her baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 880

You deserved it 2 821

Happy days

By Anonymous - 08/08/2023 20:00

Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 1 111

By Anonymous - 02/02/2013 14:41 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after two weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 286

You deserved it 9 933

By Anonymous - 12/04/2014 05:24 - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 925

You deserved it 8 416

Bloodknight 22

Thursday 22 October 2009 1:37

Haha, you totally deserve it. Not how you approach the subject of even possibly one day having a kid. I'd be leery of letting you touch me too if I was her.

silvermoonstar3 3

Thursday 22 October 2009 2:23

That's what I was going to say, only I was going to say it in English. It is way too early to talk about having babies if you haven't even had sex!

Comments

Mx_Rider 6

Thursday 22 October 2009 2:20

lmfao i laughed out loud when i read this nonsense hahah u dork ydi make her suck your dick then?

TAST3MYRAINB00Wx 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 2:22

YDI

alicespoons 17

Monday 13 January 2014 5:40

Damn I wish there was a button for that or something.

MiniatureMayhem 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 2:24

That's it, happy sacks is an official term now.

wreckoftheday16 0

Friday 26 August 2011 23:25

sorry, accidentally thumbed you down :(

JassyJas 2

Thursday 22 October 2009 2:30

seriously what's with everyone saying happy sacks?

Mx_Rider 6

Thursday 22 October 2009 2:54

happy sacks happy sacks happy sacks now what?

sirknz 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 5:49

You're supposed to say 'Happy Sacks' into the mirror 3 times and then Happy Sacks appears behind you. True story.

tifney737 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 3:14

you idiot you so deserved it!! what kind of guys says that to a GIRLFRIEND!?! you say that to a wife or maybe even fiancé but gf? your crazy I'd have broken up with you... you got off light with a punch

jchansfan 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 8:24

What the OP said was deinetly coming on strong, and kinda creepy in a lot of contexts, however breaking up with someone over a failed attempt of romance? Don't you think that's being rather extreme? lol You can tell how smooth these OPs are when they talk about their "happy sacks"...

cradle6 13

Wednesday 28 September 2011 21:04

^How the hell would you know? They could have been together for 7 years as far as you know.

Kellypoo 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 3:18

yes, it's very romantic to have an illegitimate child and give it up for adoption. little girls dream of the day they become teen pregnant.

perdix 29

Thursday 22 October 2009 3:29

She doesn't want children and you've ruined the whole relationship by saying that you do. Move on, it's over. Sorry, you probably puked from the nutsack attack during Juno. It was a good movie. If you take a date to see "Fatal Attraction," wear a cup. No, make that full-body armor.