Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend and I watched Juno. When the baby is born...

By Ouch - 21/10/2009 21:55 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and I watched Juno. When the baby is born in the film, I put my arm around my girlfriend and whispered in her ear that one day it could be us having a baby. She responded by punching me in the happy sacks and telling me I wasn't getting any from her in a long time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 119

You deserved it 32 417

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By Anonymous - 05/03/2010 12:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 717

You deserved it 3 659

By baron - 01/06/2009 17:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 681

You deserved it 7 573

By Jackedup - 18/05/2011 07:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 666

You deserved it 4 984

By captainuniverse - 14/05/2016 05:53 - United States - Nashville

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 102

You deserved it 1 286

By doomed - 22/08/2009 17:46 - United States

Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 433

You deserved it 6 700

By Anonymous - 07/01/2012 00:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me there was good news and bad news. Bad news: she's pregnant. Good news: I'm probably not the father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 394

You deserved it 4 404

By DumbFace714 - 14/02/2015 01:43 - United States - Santa Ana

Today, my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant. I thought that was good news, but then she said she wanted my boyfriend to be the father of her baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 880

You deserved it 2 821

Happy days

By Anonymous - 08/08/2023 20:00

Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 1 111

By Anonymous - 02/02/2013 14:41 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after two weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 286

You deserved it 9 933

By Anonymous - 12/04/2014 05:24 - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 925

You deserved it 8 416

Bloodknight 22

Thursday 22 October 2009 1:37

Haha, you totally deserve it. Not how you approach the subject of even possibly one day having a kid. I'd be leery of letting you touch me too if I was her.

silvermoonstar3 3

Thursday 22 October 2009 2:23

That's what I was going to say, only I was going to say it in English. It is way too early to talk about having babies if you haven't even had sex!

Comments

Turtles_rock 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 6:01

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

FoundManyLemons 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 6:39

YDI, YDI, YDI. The hell is wrong with you?

sgaske 3

Thursday 22 October 2009 6:59

Happy sacks aren't so happy anymore huh? Dipshit.

wilt 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 7:50

Wow. What a smoothie. YDI for not paying enough attention to the movie to get an understanding of "appropriate" timing. A movie about a girl getting pregnant and considering adopting the child out??? I'll go so far as to say you won't be together for much longer. Or wear a cup.

SxyJenQT 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 7:52

hah pretty funny! Anywayz I'm bored lol if anyone wants to chat I'm on y!h00 name IsabelSekezy xoxo Jen

dreamer_180 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 7:53

you're an idiot for saying that to her you def deserved it

cmac86 23

Thursday 22 October 2009 8:03

sounds like she's a good girlfriend. I mean it, I'm not being sarcastic. if she wants to (supposedly) keep her virginity until marriage, respect that. plus Juno? an illegitimate child with a couple of teens who aren't even out of high school yet? that just screams romance.

Lilman11 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 9:36

hey cmac86 u might b right or maybe she's a big time ***** and he's not good enough

Marcelb 17

Tuesday 14 December 2010 10:14

how can anyone not be good enough for a big time *****? :P except for non-persons like wife beaters etc.

hurul_ayni 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 16:20

wrong thing to say. Juno gave up her baby for adoption. Lmao. Plus the baby was out of wedlock. Not that matters, but maybe your girlfriend was relating that to what u said. Plus if yall never talked about kids or you haven't been together long you probably should wait till yall had.