how long did it take you to write this?

I took a typing class over 20 years ago, so it didn't take very long

you need to teach my husband that it's the job of /both/ parents/spouses to do household chores he seems to expect me to do all the housework, laundry, dishes et c plus take care of our two small kids plus take care of him /and/ still do the artwork that earning us a small bit of income because I'm 'the mom, it's /my/ job' and ******* smile about it! also likes to tell me I'm abandoning/neglecting/abusing our kids if I want to get away and go do something only for me ((a walk, get a cup of tea at the local coffee shop)) I don't consider going grocery shopping or walking down a crowded street to sell my wares ((handmade beads charms and pendants)) 'having me time'

hah I could easily do that. I had to teach myself. - - and I'll agree, it is both parents job. Laundry and dishes are at the top of my list as to what is a MUST from BOTH parents. They're physically demanding jobs that need to be done every day. I can tell you what my wife and I do most days (because of both our work hours). Take turns. You switch off either day by day, or week by week, which ever works best for you. I'd suggest you don't stretch it to every 2 weeks or monthly, because given what you said seems like he needs repetitiveness. My oldest is 16 now, so we now get him pitching in (cooking, laundry, at least do his own dishes, but more often than not, everybody's, and the dishwasher), and get our younger kids (ages 8 and 4) to do the more simple chores (vacuuming, dusting, cleaning their room, help them with the dishwasher, etc). I can understand what you mean by going to the grocery store, my wife and I do that together and take the little kids. My wife started having her 'me time' when my oldest was starting school (kindergarden - - morning time), because she had the time and was more comfortable as being a new mother at that point. I do believe that mothers deserve 'me time'. I don't think it's neglect at all, or abuse. In my opinion, if dads get their 'me time', than mothers should get it too. My wife often goes out on saturday nights and I take the kids, it's been that way since our oldest was 6 or 7. It also gave me a chance to spend time with our kids and I take them out to a movie or something. What I would do is, check his schedule, start him off by going on a date with him, than talk to him about it and make him define what he means by "neglect", "abuse" and "abandoning". By that point it makes him think. Ask him all the tough questions. Than pick a night that works well for you and a night he is most likely home, and may be a good night for you to go spend a few hours out with a few friends or just by yourself, whatever works. Than tell him that you're going out that night, and keep going over and over, without abusing (I hate using that word but it seemed to fit) the time of going out for a night and not letting it get in over your head. Sounds like you're a good wife and mother! Best of luck to you!