Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked,... - FML

FML for mobile
Free

Open in app

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 23:54 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 004

You deserved it 26 645

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Quick, hide!

By Mattyboy - 24/08/2009 09:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 960

You deserved it 18 662

All kinds of wrong

By Anonymous - 10/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 2 297

By unbelievable208 - 05/08/2009 05:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 663

You deserved it 86 742

By policeopenup - 11/07/2009 19:38 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 427

You deserved it 8 749

Hiya!

By mal - 08/05/2012 20:46 - United Kingdom - Chelmsford

Spicy

Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 255

You deserved it 6 282

By Anonymous - 01/10/2009 14:06 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 911

You deserved it 39 548

Back to reality

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 18:02 - United Kingdom - Saint Neots

Spicy

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 990

You deserved it 28 306

Kinky

By sad_dad - 24/10/2009 17:35 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower. Instead, I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 246

You deserved it 10 352

By orcatheseapanda - 09/01/2016 05:14 - Thailand

Today, I was stretching on the balcony, when I heard my neighbor's daughter scream. She was playing in their kiddie pool and thought I was peeping on her. And now her parents think so too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 196

You deserved it 1 424

Caught in 4K

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 13:04 - Malta

Spicy

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196 738

You deserved it 34 734

Next

Top comments

illmatic2 16

Friday 16 September 2011 8:50

Obviously a MILF.

s0m3guy2010 21

Friday 16 September 2011 9:10

I bet OP really wishes he had a moment with a Twix bar.

Comments

Calyx_fml 21

Friday 16 September 2011 19:58

Please tell me you didnt stop!

NDiesal10 2

Friday 16 September 2011 20:15

You should've shown her what you REALLY do with her daughter ;)

leadman1989 15

Friday 16 September 2011 20:50

Where the hell is my comment? >:(

HU4L188 0

Friday 16 September 2011 20:53

It could be a lot worse... Unless she said something after that that u didnt write

gigi03 5

Friday 16 September 2011 21:23

Ha ha ha ha ha

laurenXD 1

Friday 16 September 2011 21:30

I'm disturbed...

angela44 0

Friday 16 September 2011 21:46

I would be so embarrassed D:

shooterbuddy 8

Tuesday 20 September 2011 3:26

Your a mother ?? !!!!

divadro102 16

Friday 16 September 2011 21:49

Let the adventures begin

bubo_fml 10

Friday 16 September 2011 21:51

Can Mom take her teeth out?

Grand_Cookie 21

Friday 16 September 2011 22:02

HAHA!!! Whoops...

3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Embarrassing Food Work Health Restaurants Poopoo peepee Relationship advice #FAFO Intimacy Sex Family Money Kids Skincare Awkward Weird Love Housework Miscellaneous Friends Technology Anxiety Shopping Scams Insurance Farts Relatable My ex Parents Death

The Top

Today, after saving for years, I was finally ready to buy a home. I found a decent place. I put in an offer. A hedge fund bought it 7 minutes later, for cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 59

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 902

You deserved it 5 996

The Top

Today, for the first time in months, a potential employer was willing to give me a job. On my way out of the interview, I tripped over and broke a 1000 dollar glass table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 074

You deserved it 1 163

Today, I finally mustered up the guts to ask this girl I like to dinner and a movie. She agreed on the terms that she could bring someone, and I'd said it wouldn't be a problem. When I met up with her a few hours later, I found out she'd brought her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 624

You deserved it 6 737

Today, my boss called me to say that I've been slow at work this week and that I will be replaced if I don't pick up the pace. That would be understandable, if I didn't have a broken ankle and pneumonia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 147

You deserved it 1 632

Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 918

You deserved it 4 653

Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 177

You deserved it 7 051

Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 489

You deserved it 6 830