Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend convinced me to do some bedroom roleplay,...

By Anonymous - 03/08/2013 20:01 - Portugal

Today, my girlfriend convinced me to do some bedroom roleplay, and we decided on acting out a job interview scenario. I suggestively told her that if she wanted to get the job, she'd have to use her mouth on something else first. She called me a pig and ended the roleplay right there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 126

You deserved it 9 200

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Same thing different taste

Easy

By FootinMouth - 18/07/2013 21:48 - United States - Louisville

Today, my girlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 480

You deserved it 54 667

Classically Abby

By shesanexnow - 19/08/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 329

You deserved it 209

I can't help it

By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 17:47 - Ireland

Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 238

You deserved it 11 935

By nick - 27/06/2016 03:44 - United States - Highland Park

Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 472

You deserved it 2 108

By jigglypluff - 19/11/2014 05:27 - United States - Omaha

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 277

You deserved it 4 944

By Dontworryaboutit - 28/12/2009 10:16 - United States

Today, I tried to get my girlfriend of nine months to have oral sex with me. She was eating a hot dog. She then said, "If you ask me again, this is what I'll do to you." She then bit the hot dog in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 450

You deserved it 38 949

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 161

You deserved it 5 568

By sn-511 - 01/03/2013 22:54 - Italy - Naples

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 035

You deserved it 5 994

Nun the wiser

By Anonymous - 11/07/2021 16:01

Today, my girlfriend offered to roleplay as a sexy nun, then dumped me, claiming my saying yes meant I was attacking her catholic faith and that I’m a sick, depraved criminal. She was the one who offered. I’m not remotely interested in roleplay, I only agreed cause I thought it was her kink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 688

You deserved it 131

By too good - 24/10/2014 10:54 - United Kingdom - Dartford

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 033

You deserved it 14 566

ILoveMyArm 15

Sunday 4 August 2013 2:54

She doesn't seem very qualified for the job...

bondgirl69 5

Sunday 4 August 2013 2:57

She might be into more freakier stuff like answering boring questions

Comments

cmoney1992 9

Sunday 4 August 2013 3:13

She's fired

ViRepz 28

Sunday 4 August 2013 5:44

She never got the job.

RedFox29 10

Sunday 4 August 2013 3:20

I wouldn't hire here anyways...

Obey_StudBoii 23

Sunday 4 August 2013 4:14

*Her

KinkyCurly 13

Sunday 4 August 2013 4:42

Corrections are becoming annoying. Especially if it's obvious it a typo.

UNLUCKYyY1037 26

Sunday 4 August 2013 4:59

In this economy...

Enslaved 36

Sunday 4 August 2013 3:21

What kind of "Job" are you applying for? Skilled in all positions? Willing to travel-- "Around the World"? Willing to bend over backwards? Any criminal history? "Not unless it's a crime to look hot" Enjoy learning hands on? Desired payment? "What, paid in inches? You're hired! Look forward to your next raise!"

seacadet 18

Sunday 4 August 2013 4:25

You win.

hcollins1 18

Monday 5 August 2013 0:09

But she didn't pass the oral exam!

RoboCunnilingus 23

Sunday 4 August 2013 3:25

"Where do you see yourself in five to ten years?"

japtap81 16

Sunday 4 August 2013 3:27

More like "where do u see yourself in 5-10 minutes?"

buddy51 23

Sunday 4 August 2013 3:38

Maybe that was part of the role play OP? I think you were supposed to get on your knees and squeal like the pig she said you were while she plucked the banjo, lubed her giant ***** she recently got in the mail, strapped it on, and made comments on your "purty mouf" while giving it to you Gangnam style? I think you missed your cue to shift into your sweaty Ned Beatty impression!!