Love: Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to".... - FML

By Afroman720 - 27/07/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 780

You deserved it 2 890

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 17:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 674

You deserved it 6 988

By really? - 23/09/2013 02:24 - United States

Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 084

You deserved it 4 407

By steve - 05/09/2012 08:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 069

You deserved it 5 346

By .... - 24/12/2013 02:48 - United States - Modesto

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 083

You deserved it 3 737

Know your worth

By Anonymous - 20/05/2021 04:01

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 98

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 14:49 - United States

Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 710

You deserved it 3 182

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 13:17 - Australia

Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 783

You deserved it 11 019

By Anonymous - 15/02/2012 19:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 882

You deserved it 2 801

By Anonymous - 12/12/2013 21:53 - New Zealand - Napier

Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 410

You deserved it 3 505

By justmeagain - 11/12/2018 12:00

Today, my girlfriend left me. The reason? She sent me a link to a story online about a woman who abused her dog to the point of death and I didn’t vomit while reading it. According to her, that makes me a “heartless monster.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 684

You deserved it 264

Next

Top comments

hussamhasi 22

Tuesday 28 July 2015 0:07

They will always find excuses .. My ex girlfriend broke up with me because marriage was going to be hard for us , we were 16 .. No sense

MDoremis 38

Tuesday 28 July 2015 0:08

Count yourself lucky, then. Do you really want to be subjected to that kind of crazy for any longer?

Comments

Hunkapoo 19

Tuesday 28 July 2015 1:02

either she's bad at coming up with excuses, or she's crazy.

allforfun 23

Tuesday 28 July 2015 1:03

She's either schizophrenic or a terrible liar. Don't want to deal with either

mustangbravo 27

Tuesday 28 July 2015 1:08

Run dude. Ever seen the movie Summer of Sam? Or heard of the Son of Sam killer?

chaseafterwind82 29

Tuesday 28 July 2015 1:15

Sounds like the dog wasn't the only bitch in this scenario...

yaoi_chan 8

Tuesday 28 July 2015 1:24

She couldn't be bothered with excuses lol

bulletsinthewind 21

Tuesday 28 July 2015 1:39

Sounds like you're better off without her. I don't think you'd want children that do what animals "tell" them.

Calingaladha 21

Tuesday 28 July 2015 1:44

Guess you've had a ruff day.

kendalbear 16

Tuesday 28 July 2015 1:53

He was getting less pussy peanut butter with you around.

Afroman720 18

Tuesday 28 July 2015 2:04

Haha thanks guys! At least some people are decent human beings and show some sympathy! And it's cool, cause I didn't like her dog anyways, annoying little rat-like creature..

ChrisMora 16

Tuesday 28 July 2015 2:04

Does her dog claim to be "Mataman"? If so, it's for the best. Unless her dog is "Krungle". If he is, it's not good.

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Love Relatable Awkward YouTube Money Embarrassing Work Restaurants Cooking Cute Food Snow Kids Politics First Dates Health Autism Mental health Holidays Valentine's Day Facebook Social Media Scary Miscellaneous Transportation Gross School Education Alcohol Vegan

The Top

Today, I was giving my wife a massage. That led to some very intense and passionate love making, and she told me that has been the best sex we’ve had. Next thing I know, she's upset and yelling at me about how massages always lead to sex. She was asking for it. Literally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 867

You deserved it 175

Today, I got lost in a car park, late at night, unable to find my car. I started panicking, so I called my dad. I sat down to catch my breath. After about 2 minutes, I heard a noise. I looked up to see a guy jerking off while watching me. He smiled, so I instinctively threw my backpack at his junk and he ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 425

You deserved it 281

The Top

Today, while using the restroom at my favorite cafe, I fell asleep for 30 minutes. There is nothing more jarring than waking up to the banging of 7 angry, urine-filled patrons viciously breaking down the only barrier between between you and your shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 231

You deserved it 2 500

Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 547

You deserved it 2 563

Today, I started my new job at a small business. I was pretty excited to finally be working, until I found out the big boss is a creeper and sees no problem making comments such as "You're way more interesting than the rest of these slope-eyed fucks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 860

You deserved it 1 672

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 383

You deserved it 3 843

Today, I got an email from my University informing me that I was invited to an exclusive dinner for 25 people. As I continued to read through the email, I discovered that I wasn't lucky or special, but that the dinner was for financially unstable students. They think I'm a charity case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 752

You deserved it 4 485

Today, my girlfriend hates my friends and I'm not allowed to talk or hang out with them. She keeps threatening my job. The only reason I'm still with her is because she will try and get me fired. She's crazy and so is the rest of her family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 616