Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with,...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Anonymous - 16/08/2012 19:36 - United States - Houston

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 533

You deserved it 175 482

End-of-year festivities: New Year's Eve fun and frolics
End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

Spazz420 7

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:44

That's what u get for being a cheating Douche Bag!!

tpike1296 11

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:45

I hope she sends someone to kick your ass. I hate cheating douchebags like you.

Comments

T1A2Z3 34

Sunday 6 May 2018 3:01

Not only did you do something heartless and cruel like cheating... but... you wrote it down... if you're going to be an asshole at least be smart

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Cute Christmas Am I overreacting? Cats Holidays Awkward Gifts Shopping Hair Relatable Health Friends Poopoo peepee Education Money Gross Animals Cops Sex Intimacy Neighbours Smells Love Painful First Dates Grieving Social Media

The Top

Today, I accidentally called my teacher "Babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 361

You deserved it 15 025

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 786

You deserved it 22 717

The Top

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 889

You deserved it 49 528

Today, my two co-workers got the promotion we were all working for. The reason they got the promotion and not me? My interview got cancelled because of a policy change, implemented that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 740

You deserved it 153

Today, upon getting the paperwork for my Court Diversion, I found out I had to write an apology letter to my brother. The brother who sent me to jail for trying to get him to stop abusing his girlfriend, and holding him instead of fighting when he charged at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 040

You deserved it 73

Today, my husband was served child support paperwork by the couple he insisted on donating his sperm to. When I tried to warn him beforehand, he said I was being a jealous, paranoid, control freak and that it was his decision to help out some friends. We’re already struggling financially. Thanks babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 204

You deserved it 462

Today, I was at the dentist. I ended up having some work done and left with a numb mouth. I have school pictures in less than 2 hours and I can neither smile nor stop drooling everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 904

You deserved it 7 063

Today, I called my parents from out of state to see if they would order me a pizza using their credit card online because I'm out of money. I haven't lived with them for the past year, and they still claim me as a dependent on their taxes. They said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 711

You deserved it 31 057