Health: Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into...

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 106

You deserved it 3 666

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Same thing different taste

By DHarman - 25/05/2010 23:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 641

You deserved it 4 071

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 073

You deserved it 5 417

By Anonymous - 15/04/2011 00:53 - Canada

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 621

You deserved it 36 079

By ThatHurts - 14/11/2011 00:11 - Canada

Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 301

You deserved it 34 577

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 17:26 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 335

You deserved it 5 169

By hero to zero - 04/07/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 133

You deserved it 15 186

Time to run

By Anonymous - 24/06/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 98

Get out

By Anonymous - 15/07/2022 00:00

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating, so she smashed me in the head with her handbag so hard my eyeball is red from a burst blood vessel. I followed her home, where she tried to pretend she knew nothing, it wasn’t her I'd seen, she’d been home all day. I had to get the cops to drag her out my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 276

You deserved it 160

By anonymous - 09/10/2011 01:20 - Australia

Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 275

You deserved it 27 588

By xxx - 03/09/2017 04:29

Today, at a meeting, I had a heated argument with the only female employee at the office. A little later, I managed to hit her in the face with a door, giving her a bruise. Nobody believes it was an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 671

You deserved it 531

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 18 January 2011 1:04

Sorry, but domestic abuse is not something you joke about. You should beat her for that. Er, discuss it.

TransitionCovert 6

Tuesday 18 January 2011 1:03

Now you can beat her.

Comments

robotofu 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 4:03

this one is old. what's the point in stealing a story from the same site you plan on posting it to??

Sirin_fml 46

Tuesday 18 January 2011 4:06

Are you kidding? Did you miss a memo, the blog entry, or the myriad of comments about it? This is part of the European FMLs day, where some of the better entries from VDM were chosen by the cast of Skins USA to be published on the English-language site. Well... now you know!

TXjuggalo972 6

Tuesday 18 January 2011 4:07

American skins is shit

eyez1992 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 4:20

dont worry my gf would say the same thing lol

wittyme 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 4:22

havent seen the american version but im expecting it to suck. Originals are always the best.

IWantLamingtons 4

Tuesday 18 January 2011 4:31

My friend did that once,but she blamed it on her cousin.The cousin she blamed it on had the name Chris Brown xD

bman134 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 4:37

so tell everyone bitch didn't make you a sandwich

Jenmic 14

Tuesday 18 January 2011 4:50

Dump the bitch. She obviously doesn't care enough about you to admit to clumsiness instead of putting your reputation at sake. Let's hope for your sake that no one believes her.

carlycrf 8

Tuesday 18 January 2011 4:52

Your girlfriend's a dork. yay for silly puns :D

ljr1094 7

Tuesday 18 January 2011 4:53

isn't it obvious shes a major bitch ... Dump her!!

Terezi 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 4:55

It's been said already, but dump the bitch. If she's willing to slander you and possibly get you in serious trouble rather than being able to laugh at herself like a normal person, she's nothing but trouble.