Miscellaneous: Today, my girlfriend launched her own business. I was recently...

By Anonymous - 12/01/2016 18:04 - United States - Newtown Square

Today, my girlfriend launched her own business. I was recently laid off from my job, so I offered to be her very first employee. I now have the glamorous job of bleaching people's assholes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 928

You deserved it 6 969

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Same thing different taste

Trading places

By Anonymous - 26/03/2022 10:00

Today, my girlfriend who trained me at the job we both work at received a promotion, which left a spot for advancement. I was chosen for the position, and now the guy she's been cheating on me with is training me. Congrats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 128

By LesToiliettes - 25/03/2012 07:12 - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, was the first day of my new job. My boss admitted that they hadn't cleaned the employee bathroom for over two months. My first task: clean the employee bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 930

You deserved it 2 172

By Username - 19/05/2011 15:13

Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 980

You deserved it 80 655

By kdeeeceee - 09/11/2011 05:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 524

You deserved it 4 586

Deadly cocktail

By blame the maid - 13/09/2020 17:02 - United States

Today, my very sheltered girlfriend decided to surprise me by cleaning our apartment. Although she grew up with housekeepers and maids, I thought it was common knowledge that you don’t try cleaning the bathroom with both bleach and ammonia. We still can’t go back inside our place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 648

You deserved it 167

By replaced - 22/02/2016 03:03 - United States - Marietta

Today, my boss fired me because his girlfriend wanted the job I had. She has no experience whatsoever in my line of work, it was just his "anniversary present" for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 226

You deserved it 1 669

Chick magnet

By Anonymous - 23/02/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend left town for a month to visit family. Meanwhile, the young woman I hired at my restaurant just got back from vacation with her natural hair color restored. It’s the same color as my girlfriend’s hair, and she made a pass at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 475

By StillHurt - 19/01/2010 06:44 - United States

Today, I started my job as a consultant at a shop that sells wedding dresses. My first client? The girl my ex-fiancé cheated on me with and left me for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 471

You deserved it 2 262

By CheesyCasey - 30/05/2013 00:51 - United States - Detroit

Today, my workplace was issued aprons. I then became the first and only employee in the history of the business to set an apron on fire while using the grill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 844

You deserved it 5 929

Overdoing it

By Zill - 17/11/2022 10:00

Today, my girlfriend has become such a workaholic that I found her sitting in her office, soaked in piss. When I called her out, she said she didn't want to take bathroom breaks anymore, and asked me to buy diapers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 129

mld4657 28

Wednesday 13 January 2016 1:27

Didnt you get a job description first?

youloveBC 14

Wednesday 13 January 2016 1:27

Well look at the bright side! You're making some money!

Comments

writerchic85 25

Wednesday 13 January 2016 11:50

I would think you'd need some kind of training and certification for that. Just like any beauty thing.

missyfiona89 28

Wednesday 13 January 2016 12:15

If you're gonna complain about the help your girlfriend is giving you, perhaps you don't deserve help.

Zacholicious 15

Wednesday 13 January 2016 12:28

what the hell kind of business did your girlfriend start? I think this one needs a followup

Colon_Man 17

Thursday 14 January 2016 20:01

I'm imagining the row of store fronts; Payless Shoes, Ass Bleaching, Toys R' Us...

more4me 27

Wednesday 13 January 2016 14:02

I'm curious. How and why does an anus need bleaching ? Is it for cosmetic reasons? Why?! Nobody ever looks down there! Do they? For health reasons? Do I need to have my anus bleached ? No really, I wanna know.

shitstorm28 11

Wednesday 13 January 2016 15:11

you literally asked for it.

hotmessguy 13

Wednesday 13 January 2016 19:56

Considering there are likely to be far more women getting their arses bleached then men i'd consider it a win... Or a semi ? win due to bleaching the asses at your girlfriends work...