Love: Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 113

You deserved it 10 955

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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Tickdick - 24/03/2017 21:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I got out of the shower and noticed a tiny leaf on my penis. With legs. Squirming. I have a new nickname. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 320

You deserved it 559

By stopinthenameoflove - 19/06/2014 14:37 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 092

You deserved it 15 455

By why - 05/04/2011 15:25 - United States

Today, I learned that my parents' nickname for my fiancé is "dickwad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 740

You deserved it 6 608

By Pita - 04/12/2010 20:35 - United States

Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 376

You deserved it 6 577

By Anonymous - 26/09/2015 12:08 - United States

Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 944

You deserved it 3 989

By Noname - 16/01/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 641

You deserved it 6 666

"shortcomings"

By Anonymous - 24/02/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 927

You deserved it 643

The Conquest of Bread

By Anonymous - 26/04/2021 11:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 265

By nick - 06/03/2011 01:42 - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 444

You deserved it 3 816

By loserllamalick - 07/10/2013 14:32 - United States - Rochester

Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 722

You deserved it 39 684

spidergirl41 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 22:48

Does she like carrots? Also, don't forget the ranch!!! xD

Dmaster22 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 22:47

your penis is orange? JK FYL

Comments

cherrypieguy 0

Monday 17 August 2009 5:04

Ydi for having orange junk

MooTaters 0

Monday 17 August 2009 5:10

tell her she fails for feeling the need to name a penis then falcon punch her.

OMGoriginality 0

Monday 17 August 2009 5:38

I roflol'd on that one!

stone_light 0

Monday 17 August 2009 5:13

ydi because that name fails compared to that "squirtle" guy.

tiger69 0

Monday 17 August 2009 5:30

this is from rescue me

l3rett 1

Monday 17 August 2009 5:47

you think that sux my girlfriend nick named mine tiny tim

athos1237 4

Monday 17 August 2009 6:39

First FYL. Second Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha! YDI for posting this. What idiot posts that his girlfriend thinks his dick is a lil' baby carrot. You and the guy with no skills that let his girl update her facebook are morons. That;s why it ended up as a FYL. Your morons so your life is F'ed

tommyboy1392 0

Monday 17 August 2009 9:03

omg someone who agrees with me

painterpeace 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 7:39

I think ur the moron here since u can't spell thats

myexsucks 0

Monday 17 August 2009 7:00

Well....maybe if she didn't walk in on you humping her stuffed animal rabbit, she wouldn't nickname your penis "little baby carrot" (assuming you're the guy from another FML who humped a stuffed animal rabbit, that is).