OPs gf needs to be bi so this could work out. I don't think she is phobic of him being monogamous...

This is just a curious question: why even start a monogamous relationship then if you know you are poly? Don't you sit down and talk about it before getting into a serious relationship with someone who is only monogamous? If you don't do that, doesn't that lead to some major complications later on? Again, this is just curiosity since I've heard some stories about issues like this arising in a monogamous relationship.

Your comment unfortunately won't get enough up votes. I don't believe in poly myself, but I'm not against it out of ignorance. However most people will have a problem with what u wrote because of there being a lot of social programming via religious and other means over thousands of years that say monogamy is the right way, and as Mama once said, "polygamy is the devil, bobby." - The Waterboy Hopefully I am wrong and u get more likes.

Society has taught us a very linear type of happiness, namely monogamy, resulting in a "my way or the highway" view from all those who conform to the view. While I personally don't practice polygamy (or anything really at this point, I'm 15), happiness isn't a linear arrangement, and means different things to everyone. The fact that she told you, (assuming she was poly), means that she does most likely want to be in a monogamous relationship with you. Also, think about it; would you take the time inform someone of cheating if you were actually cheating? Seems a little bit of a stupid thing to do. Although I am quite curious how relationships between monogamous and polygamous people start...

I'm so glad someone who is poly gave a balanced answer. It's insane how many people can't comprehend it takes a lot of communication to be healthily and happily poly and it isn't just an "excuse to cheat" or whatever. So many comments have automatically jumped to she's a cheater but my first thought (although I'm not poly) was that she might be testing the water to see where the OP stands on a poly or open relationship. Also #23 - people often doesn't realise they are poly until they're exposed to someone else who is cause we've been taught as a society one partner only is the way to be "normal" so people try to fit with that even if it's not their nature.

People also get into relationships with people that smoke when they don't like smoking, or ride motorcycles when they think riding motorcycles is dangerous. Basically, while you know it will cause complications later, the whole point of dating somebody is to assess how much your life would change if you made a serious commitment to them--both in positive things that you wouldn't have otherwise, and negative things you might have had otherwise but you have to give up. A coworker of mine is actually going through this right now, when we go downstairs for smoke breaks she talks about how crazy it feels to her that, in this relationship, she actually feels like it's worth telling all her playmates that she's not available for fun anymore. For people who haven't lived around the lifestyle, it 'feels' very different than secretly loving Disney World when you know your boyfriend is creeped the **** out by people in mascot suits. But in practice, it turns out to be no different than most other things that can be compatible or incompatible in a relationship, and as such people will sometimes decide, "We need to reconcile this difference between us so we can continue being together".

Trust her? She said she's afraid to being only committed to him. If that's not a warning I don't know what is.