Love: Today, my girlfriend randomly confessed to basically having a...

By well then - 30/05/2015 05:40 - United States - Forest Park

Today, my girlfriend randomly confessed to basically having a "phobia" of monogamy. But don't worry, she defensively assured me she's never ever cheated on me, even though I never said she had, so I guess that's okay then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 793

You deserved it 2 464

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By ballnchain - 30/03/2010 16:04 - United States

Today, my insanely jealous wife flipped out and made me promise never to hug any of my female friends or go to lunch with them, ever. It's "cheating." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 547

You deserved it 19 963

By Anonymous - 13/12/2013 21:41 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend randomly decided to let me know that he believes there's really no such thing as cheating, unless both partners explicitly agree that the relationship is monogamous. And no, he wouldn't agree that ours is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 802

You deserved it 4 906

By Well then - 10/09/2018 03:30

Today, I discovered that my fiancé and I had vastly different definitions of monogamy. Don't worry, he only did it when he was mad at me to remind him how much he loved me. I found out from my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 302

You deserved it 235

A Lose-Lose Situation

By you can't win - 10/07/2017 21:00

Today, after months of being called paranoid, distrusting and over-possessive by my girlfriend for being suspicious of her, I learned that she really is cheating on me with her coworker. When confronted, she called me ignorant, gullible and naive for believing her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 496

You deserved it 432

By Anonymous - 27/01/2016 17:11 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my girlfriend told me she loved me for the first time. Unfortunately, it was her way of saying that she didn't want to lose me after cheating on me yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 743

You deserved it 1 491

By Numou - 08/12/2008 07:26 - France

Today, I pointed out to my girlfriend that she wasn't jealous. She replied, "Well actually, I am, I just can't prove it cause no one else is interested in you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 940

You deserved it 4 251

By damnit - 27/10/2008 09:08 - United States

Today, it appears that my girlfriend visited an internet web page called "How to confess to having an affair." FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 083

You deserved it 5 376

By a single fuck - 23/05/2013 16:40 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 083

You deserved it 3 105

By Anonymous - 15/02/2015 16:02 - United States - La Grande

Today, my girlfriend confessed to cheating on me. Unfortunately, she's a pathological liar and I can't be sure if it's really true, along with half the stuff she tells me on a daily basis. Love is hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 150

You deserved it 11 297

By Username - 20/08/2011 09:20 - United States

Today, the girl of my dreams that I've been dating for months called me. Apparently she's been having recurring nightmares of me cheating on her. She dumped me "just in case." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 457

You deserved it 2 676

Enslaved 36

Sunday 31 May 2015 6:24

When I first read this I thought it said mahogany. Lol

False_Stupidity 41

Sunday 31 May 2015 6:22

She must live in constant panicky fear if she has a phobia of monogamy and yet claims to have been monogamous. Yeah, right. Smells fishy to me.

Comments

anonymous61324 13

Monday 1 June 2015 7:39

Does your "girlfriend" know the definition of the word monogamy?

lalaney 14

Monday 1 June 2015 8:38

I don't believe you, OP. I bet she expressed her interest in open relationships, you freaked out, and she assured you she had not been involved with someone while you were together. She is trying to let you know what kind of relationship works for her, but also assuring you that she hasn't taken any steps to change what you've already agreed on.

starile 19

Monday 1 June 2015 10:04

Hey, that's how I got over my fear of needles, too! I've since donated blood many times, as well as platelets :) Good job!

cmac86 23

Monday 1 June 2015 10:43

Yeah have fun with that mess. I'd perhaps cut my losses.

JKPwnage 27

Monday 1 June 2015 13:42

They come up with the weirdest excuses...

enderless 6

Tuesday 2 June 2015 0:54

she's cheated or she's planning to cheat. Now she has plausible deniability. "I told you I had a phobia of monogamy!" will be the excuse you hear when she sleeps with someone else. If you're not comfortable with that, cut her loose.

deviousangel89 13

Wednesday 17 June 2015 3:00

She sounds like she has a guilty conscience...

cainchild 4

Friday 19 June 2015 18:39

Monogamy, especially the default disney version you've been programmed with; is not the only relationship model. In fact, I can basically guarantee that around 20% of the people you know bend or break the rules of monogamy, and another 20% would if they weren't afraid.