Love: Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday...

By Anonymous - 11/05/2015 16:06 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 314

You deserved it 4 517

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 970

You deserved it 3 693

By Mazzam - 19/11/2008 11:33 - France

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 279

You deserved it 18 565

By JadedBaker - 08/07/2012 06:58 - United States

Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 091

You deserved it 1 997

Caked out

By Anonymous - 10/03/2023 18:00 - Canada

Today, I meant to surprise my boyfriend by baking him a cake. When I took it out of the oven, I realized I had accidentally used salt instead of sugar. He tried to eat it anyway, and ended up spitting chunks of it out all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 736

The cake from hell

By Anonymous - 24/03/2023 18:00

Today, I tried to bake a cake for my friend's birthday. It turned out looking more like a science experiment gone wrong than a cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 202

By Birthday blues - 13/12/2018 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 036

You deserved it 601

Smashed

By Mr. Headshot - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I celebrated my birthday with a few friends at home. As I bent down over my cake, my friend pushed my face into it. The baker should've told me she put a stick in it to support the cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 187

You deserved it 3 643

By Nothingonyou - 08/09/2010 07:35 - France

Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 194

You deserved it 3 333

By Anonymous - 25/11/2018 12:00

Today, I was celebrating my birthday when my friend gave me chocolate as a gift. I wasn't suspecting anything and ate about half of it before I noticed something strange. It turned out there were some kind of worms living in it and the chocolate was about a year after the expiration date. I got sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 050

You deserved it 266

Just a prank has its limits

By Anonymous - 28/06/2013 17:34 - Nigeria - Lagos

Today, my demented asswipe of a lab partner thought it'd be funny to replace the birthday gift I bought for my girlfriend with the large intestine of a recently-dissected dog. My girlfriend nearly fainted when she opened the gift box, and accused me of planning the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 337

You deserved it 3 298

SKITTLZ2000 16

Tuesday 12 May 2015 0:06

You should be happy that someone went through the effort to try to make you happy, even if it didn't turn out great.

cutycat136 28

Tuesday 12 May 2015 0:05

Depending on how close you two are or how long you have been in the relationship, you could have just told her. I'm sure if she had some too and you weren't saying anything, she was thinking it too and just wasn't saying anything either. If you had have said something maybe she would have understood and took you out somewhere or went and bought you a new cake instead :)

Comments

baegirl33 7

Tuesday 12 May 2015 16:12

Happy Birthday!!!!!! Hope you get a better cake next year.

HappyPickles 11

Tuesday 12 May 2015 16:43

Wow! OP, you did a good thing by being so nice to your girlfriend. Sorry you ended barfing it up - but surely that didn't actually ruin the whole day. (You did get great birthday sex as well - right?) Oh, and about 2 weeks before your birthday next year, just mention gently to her that it might be best not to do the home-made cake things again this year. :)

axfabxdisaster 25

Tuesday 12 May 2015 17:06

Well atleast she tried. Kudos to that!?

cressybryant 15

Tuesday 12 May 2015 19:25

It's the thought that counts

Kittyphysics 21

Tuesday 12 May 2015 19:52

at least she tried op. I've made my own birthday whatever for the last 4 years, and 3 of those were despite being in a serious relationship.

Lola26042002 12

Tuesday 12 May 2015 21:46

It's the thought that counts.;) Happy birthday OP!:)

annie_zoo 27

Wednesday 13 May 2015 2:07

well, it's the thought that counts

lantz4levi 19

Wednesday 13 May 2015 2:37

Your a type of person who thinks everything should revolve around them. She was trying to do something nice whether it was good or bad. She shouldnt have done anything at all if your gonna be so stuck up about it

wyverntail 15

Wednesday 13 May 2015 4:31

Well.. She tried her best OP. You should take her to a cake decorating class. I went to a class by Wilton and saw a few couples there. It would help her improve her skills for next time and you can learn new things together