Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem...

By littlefinger - 11/03/2014 16:11 - United States - Foley

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 670

You deserved it 6 996

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Same thing different taste

By timmynotjimmy - 28/10/2009 01:28 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend told me how disappointed and depressed she was that she could never make me hard. She started ranting about her looks and how she fails at everything. I didn't know how to reply. I was hard while she told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 367

You deserved it 3 935

Let down

By anonymous - 21/06/2009 02:00 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 225

You deserved it 17 260

Toys R Us

By microlovin - 28/07/2013 07:45 - United States - Pasadena

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 768

You deserved it 9 262

By sucks at sucking - 15/12/2012 00:27 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 878

You deserved it 9 234

Humblebrag

By Jason - 09/09/2021 05:01

Today, I discovered that have large "parts" is not all it's cracked up to be, when the girl of my dreams broke up with me because, and I quote, "We tried everything and it just won't fit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 512

You deserved it 395

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 676

You deserved it 60 114

By Anonymous - 02/11/2012 19:46 - Netherlands - Delft

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. I thought it was all going really well, until I looked up a minute or two in, only to be greeted by a stone-cold death glare and the words, "You really are an idiot, aren't you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 744

You deserved it 8 423

By FreshDonuts - 28/02/2015 05:03 - United States - Antioch

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 323

You deserved it 6 276

By FuckThis - 31/08/2015 13:16 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I thought the girl I was seeing was going to tell me that she loved me. Instead, she told me how she sucked some other guy's dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 338

You deserved it 2 543

By katie - 25/05/2011 08:23

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 968

You deserved it 19 170

Welshite 39

Wednesday 12 March 2014 1:32

And her personality.

tipsy2013 24

Wednesday 12 March 2014 1:36

you must be a show-er, not a grow-er

Comments

skylerisis 10

Wednesday 12 March 2014 23:38

You say it's not the size of the boat , but the motion of the ocean, no motion will turn a little sail boat into a yacht

Sniper_Chick4110 20

Thursday 13 March 2014 0:13

I predict cold weather where you are today. Better rug up.

NoLifeMo11 7

Thursday 13 March 2014 5:54

Dump her

GamerPerson 19

Thursday 13 March 2014 12:09

That's just cold. She obviously doesn't need a relationship. Dump her!!!

Rintaka23 4

Saturday 15 March 2014 6:17

She's an ice queen. Get a flamethrower.

PrinceAli2016 3

Sunday 16 March 2014 1:21

I really hate when women poke fun at what men can't change about themselves. It's unfair, just keep your head held high, bro.

nialls_girl 13

Sunday 16 March 2014 6:41

Wow, sorry OP. That's a bad low-blow...

kittie77 10

Monday 17 March 2014 4:37

Aww :( that's messed up. Dump her ass

rogerover 19

Tuesday 18 March 2014 16:54

Was that the first salvo for a "dirty talk" conversation? No, no, probably not. If you think she's worth trying to stay with, then tell her you're ready to have a useful conversation about your sex life when she's ready to talk constructively instead of just verbally attacking you