Valentine's slay, Looking good and Miscellaneous: Today, my grandma sent me a Valentine's Day card. For years she's...

By bcca - 13/02/2012 14:22 - United States

Today, my grandma sent me a Valentine's Day card. For years she's been hinting at me to lose weight. The card: a picture of cookies on the front and a gym membership inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 178

You deserved it 6 337

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Same thing different taste

By Loot - 17/02/2009 00:26 - United States

Today, I received a box in the mail from my mom which I assumed was a care package. It was a scale to encourage me to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 965

You deserved it 6 054

By ThanksMum - 14/02/2012 11:56 - United Kingdom

Today, the only card I got for Valentine's Day was in my mother's handwriting, and she posted it through the front door herself. She still won't admit it's from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 579

You deserved it 2 791

Photoshopped

By Noname - 18/02/2009 21:55 - United States

Today, when I visited my grandmother at her nursing home, I was looking at pictures she had of all the grandkids. All were normal graduation pictures etc. but mine was a cutout where she made me skinnier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 604

You deserved it 3 959

Tact

By FalkensLabyrinth - 03/02/2021 19:57 - United States - Gardner

Today, my mother offered to give my overweight girlfriend the workout DVDs that she no longer needs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 215

Embezzlement

By Username - 06/01/2011 07:49

Today, I found the birthday card my grandma had mailed. Apparently, it contained a gift of $100. Too bad it was in my mom's trash can, opened, with no money. She told my grandma it must have gotten lost in the mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 621

You deserved it 2 476

Cheers

By Anonymous - 13/03/2016 08:25 - Australia - Aspley

Today, for my birthday, my friend bought me a book on how to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 374

You deserved it 3 390

By Anonymous - 13/03/2015 15:02 - United States

Today, after several months of eating right, exercising, and weight loss, my mother has yet again arrived at my house, unannounced and with a very sugary cake. She's been doing this most weeks since I lost 50 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 688

You deserved it 2 840

By fatman - 10/08/2010 02:29 - United States

Today, my mom signed me up for Weight Watchers as a surprise birthday present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 695

You deserved it 11 524

By bannana0zoom - 03/03/2012 08:06 - Canada

Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 016

You deserved it 7 976

Mixed signals

By Anonymous - 30/06/2020 17:02

Today, my girlfriend always assures me she doesn’t care if I’m a little overweight, yet in the past few weeks she’s bought me running shorts, new trainers, a set of professional barbells and weights, a "how to lose weight in your living room" book and installed a treadmill in the garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 321

You deserved it 725

catatonicsleep 17

Saturday 13 February 2010 20:03

gym membership is often expensive and you just got it for free...

BbYhRtLsS 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 19:59

kind of contradicting isn't it?

Comments

miniboule_fml 2

Monday 14 January 2013 14:20

That is super nice of her. She wants you to lose weight but she helps you. She lets you know without calling you fat and hurting your self esteem.

Mira Lux 26

Saturday 31 January 2015 16:40

But for all we know, OP is perfect or even under weight. The grandma could be trying to make OP miserable.

BauerMegan 31

Sunday 2 June 2013 18:36

I wish I had that awesome of a grandma!

BauerMegan 31

Sunday 2 June 2013 18:40

Ugh

BauerMegan 31

Sunday 2 June 2013 18:38

Lucky you OP! Take full advantage of it and prove her wrinkly ass wrong.

BauerMegan 31

Sunday 2 June 2013 18:39

I mean that in the most sincerest way possible.

SuperWhoLockian7 9

Monday 7 April 2014 18:44

Don't most grandmothers try to stuff you full of food?

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Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 508

You deserved it 15 067

Today, I was bored, so I started to declutter my closet. I found a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in years and thought they'd fit. As I struggled to pull them on, the seam ripped really loud, and my cat shot out from under the bed like a spooked rocket. Apparently even my jeans feel the need to yell at me for getting too big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 300

The Top

Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 276

You deserved it 19 832

Today, I had just finished an elaborate charcoal drawing as part of a college application that took a good week. When I read over the requirements, I found out it needed to be done in graphite pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 587

You deserved it 37 915

Today, I took a friend out for what I thought was date. After dinner was over and I paid, she pulled the bill out and wrote her name phone number on it for the waiter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 406

You deserved it 3 663

Today, my vehicle's transmission shifter moves freely without shifting gears. I'm stuck in park, in a parking lot, unable to even put it into neutral to push the vehicle out of the way of several parked cars. The old lady screaming at me just outside my door doesn't understand logic either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 591

You deserved it 1 945

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She had such an uncontrollable, aggressive orgasm that I'd be celebrating my efforts, if only in the process she hadn't knocked over my new expensive laptop, which then split in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 876

You deserved it 470

Today, I’ve met the last of my wife’s ex-boyfriends. She’s been out of touch with all of them since we met, but after seeing their shared looks, I'm convinced they all have naked pictures of her. How recent they are is the only remaining question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 782

Same thing different taste

Photoshopped

Tact

Embezzlement

Cheers

Mixed signals

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