Miscellaneous: Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating...

By Anonymous - 15/09/2013 21:16 - United States - Dover

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 199

You deserved it 44 216

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By tracy4191 - 13/06/2016 15:27 - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, I found out my grandma has been slipping laxatives into my food. Apparently, I was constipated once as a child and "once constipated, always constipated." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 519

You deserved it 813

Helping hand

By Anonymous - 29/07/2020 05:01

Today, my granny has been constipated for the past two days. She is too weak to get out of bed, so I ended up trying to dig the poop out of her butthole with a spoon. Yay me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 773

You deserved it 300

By painful - 24/07/2011 08:55 - Norway

Today, I was stuck in the car with my grandma for an hour as she described to me how she had looked through my great grandma's poop to make sure her calcium pills were being digested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 609

You deserved it 2 654

By MsConfusedd - 09/08/2012 14:51 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I discovered that the only thing more disgusting than watching a little kid shove their finger up their nose and eat their fresh green mucus is watching your grandmother do the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 786

You deserved it 1 949

By dannij08 - 14/01/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 432

You deserved it 43 478

By Anonymous - 26/01/2016 03:44 - United States - Arcadia

Today, my grandma saw me putting some mints in my mouth when she walked by my room. Instead of confronting me, she told my dad I was doing drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 714

You deserved it 1 299

Inspection time

By Anonymous - 22/06/2013 05:01 - United States - Monterey

Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 272

You deserved it 3 615

By Anonymous - 13/02/2016 05:14 - Canada - North Battleford

Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 263

You deserved it 1 726

Thanks, but…

By Anonymous - 20/12/2021 00:01 - United States - Kula

Today, my grandmother helped out by cooking a dish for me. It was so sweet of her, until I ended up having diarrhoea because of it. Now I'm worried to breastfeed my newborn with her food in my system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 136

Genetics

By lordoftheweird - 23/01/2024 13:00 - Canada

Today, my grandmother is shocked that literally all of her kids and grandkids have mental handicaps. She won't admit it's because her and my grandfather are first cousins, and is claiming instead it's, "because of gluten." FML

I agree, your life sucks 668

You deserved it 127

sarcasticzilla 9

Monday 16 September 2013 9:11

And why exactly were you eating Nutella on the toilet?

juliaannw 11

Monday 16 September 2013 9:11

Wipe a handful of nutella right on her face.

Comments

SoultheWolf 19

Monday 16 September 2013 20:13

No offense.. but YDI. The bathroom is no place to eat. You can't wait til after you go to the bathroom to get something to eat? Especially a spoonful of something that looks like shit?

EmsyyyRose13 24

Monday 16 September 2013 20:16

Why would you eat while on the toilet? That's just gross.

dragonfc 2

Monday 16 September 2013 22:43

Technically OP's grandmother is right.. it has been proven that fecal matter does become airborne in the restroom. If you consider that factor then yes.. you were eating your own poop.

jargen89 2

Monday 16 September 2013 23:11

Don't poop where you eat!

truepanda 2

Monday 16 September 2013 23:44

poop and pee smells are PARTICLES. therefore watever u eat had those. therefore they r unsanitay. therefore ur gross.

mtndewhm 2

Tuesday 17 September 2013 0:24

That is gross. YDI for eating on the toilet.

WolfAtTheDoor 7

Tuesday 17 September 2013 1:16

I couldn't think of a better thing to eat whilst taking a shit than something that fairly resembles shit. Why were you eating on the toilet? I might be wrong...but that just seems highly unsanitary, eh?