Miscellaneous: Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating...

By Anonymous - 15/09/2013 21:16 - United States - Dover

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 199

You deserved it 44 216

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By tracy4191 - 13/06/2016 15:27 - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, I found out my grandma has been slipping laxatives into my food. Apparently, I was constipated once as a child and "once constipated, always constipated." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 519

You deserved it 813

Helping hand

By Anonymous - 29/07/2020 05:01

Today, my granny has been constipated for the past two days. She is too weak to get out of bed, so I ended up trying to dig the poop out of her butthole with a spoon. Yay me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 773

You deserved it 300

By painful - 24/07/2011 08:55 - Norway

Today, I was stuck in the car with my grandma for an hour as she described to me how she had looked through my great grandma's poop to make sure her calcium pills were being digested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 608

You deserved it 2 654

By MsConfusedd - 09/08/2012 14:51 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I discovered that the only thing more disgusting than watching a little kid shove their finger up their nose and eat their fresh green mucus is watching your grandmother do the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 785

You deserved it 1 949

By dannij08 - 14/01/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 432

You deserved it 43 477

By Anonymous - 26/01/2016 03:44 - United States - Arcadia

Today, my grandma saw me putting some mints in my mouth when she walked by my room. Instead of confronting me, she told my dad I was doing drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 714

You deserved it 1 299

Inspection time

By Anonymous - 22/06/2013 05:01 - United States - Monterey

Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 272

You deserved it 3 615

By Anonymous - 13/02/2016 05:14 - Canada - North Battleford

Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 263

You deserved it 1 726

Thanks, but…

By Anonymous - 20/12/2021 00:01 - United States - Kula

Today, my grandmother helped out by cooking a dish for me. It was so sweet of her, until I ended up having diarrhoea because of it. Now I'm worried to breastfeed my newborn with her food in my system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 136

Genetics

By lordoftheweird - 23/01/2024 13:00 - Canada

Today, my grandmother is shocked that literally all of her kids and grandkids have mental handicaps. She won't admit it's because her and my grandfather are first cousins, and is claiming instead it's, "because of gluten." FML

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 126

sarcasticzilla 9

Monday 16 September 2013 9:11

And why exactly were you eating Nutella on the toilet?

juliaannw 11

Monday 16 September 2013 9:11

Wipe a handful of nutella right on her face.

Comments

emuexport 4

Monday 16 September 2013 12:44

Are you german ????

vffjvsegb 11

Monday 16 September 2013 13:00

Da **** you doing eating Nutella and taking a shit?

perdix 29

Monday 16 September 2013 13:19

There are poop particles floating about in the air of a bathroom, so your grandma is partly right: you're probably eating a blend of 90% Nutella/10% poo.