Miscellaneous: Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating...

By Anonymous - 15/09/2013 21:16 - United States - Dover

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 199

You deserved it 44 216

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Same thing different taste

By tracy4191 - 13/06/2016 15:27 - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, I found out my grandma has been slipping laxatives into my food. Apparently, I was constipated once as a child and "once constipated, always constipated." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 519

You deserved it 813

Helping hand

By Anonymous - 29/07/2020 05:01

Today, my granny has been constipated for the past two days. She is too weak to get out of bed, so I ended up trying to dig the poop out of her butthole with a spoon. Yay me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 773

You deserved it 300

By painful - 24/07/2011 08:55 - Norway

Today, I was stuck in the car with my grandma for an hour as she described to me how she had looked through my great grandma's poop to make sure her calcium pills were being digested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 608

You deserved it 2 654

By MsConfusedd - 09/08/2012 14:51 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I discovered that the only thing more disgusting than watching a little kid shove their finger up their nose and eat their fresh green mucus is watching your grandmother do the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 785

You deserved it 1 949

By dannij08 - 14/01/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 432

You deserved it 43 477

By Anonymous - 26/01/2016 03:44 - United States - Arcadia

Today, my grandma saw me putting some mints in my mouth when she walked by my room. Instead of confronting me, she told my dad I was doing drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 714

You deserved it 1 299

Inspection time

By Anonymous - 22/06/2013 05:01 - United States - Monterey

Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 272

You deserved it 3 615

By Anonymous - 13/02/2016 05:14 - Canada - North Battleford

Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 263

You deserved it 1 726

Thanks, but…

By Anonymous - 20/12/2021 00:01 - United States - Kula

Today, my grandmother helped out by cooking a dish for me. It was so sweet of her, until I ended up having diarrhoea because of it. Now I'm worried to breastfeed my newborn with her food in my system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 136

Genetics

By lordoftheweird - 23/01/2024 13:00 - Canada

Today, my grandmother is shocked that literally all of her kids and grandkids have mental handicaps. She won't admit it's because her and my grandfather are first cousins, and is claiming instead it's, "because of gluten." FML

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 126

sarcasticzilla 9

Monday 16 September 2013 9:11

And why exactly were you eating Nutella on the toilet?

juliaannw 11

Monday 16 September 2013 9:11

Wipe a handful of nutella right on her face.

Comments

dirtydiana57 3

Monday 16 September 2013 15:42

Eating while on the toilet is a pretty disgusting thing to do. You deserve it.

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 16 September 2013 16:04

Just show her your shit eating grin.

RabbitOfAurora 28

Monday 16 September 2013 16:09

OP never said they were taking a shit. In all honesty, I've done this and things similar to this. I usually go past my kitchen to get to the bathroom and sometimes I'll pick up some chocolate or something and be half way through eating it. The human body was made to fight off germs, that's why OP and I are still alive and fine, despite that we snack on the loo.

skyeyez9 24

Monday 16 September 2013 16:17

Every time you see her, eat a spoonful of nutella in front of her.

skyeyez9 24

Monday 16 September 2013 16:18

I have heard of people drinking a cold beer while in the shower. But not eating while pooping.

heliophobia 13

Monday 16 September 2013 17:25

Seriously, can you blame your grandmother? Don't eat on the toilet, so unsanitary. Doesn't help that it looks like you're eating shit.

DustyStorm 16

Monday 16 September 2013 17:50

Many of you will say YDI, or how gross this act is based upon fecal particals in the air....however how many of you read FML/text in the bathroom on your phone, don't disinfect your phone and then eat while reading FML or text? Hmmmm....

Rossendale 3

Monday 16 September 2013 18:53

So very true. I see a lot of people behaving like they got OCD on the internet, but I can bet that half of them do exactly the same. And also, all of you say that the grandma is not to blame. I don't want to be offensive to OP, but I never met a person who mistook a light brown bread spreading (which actually looks ENTIRELY different - Nutella is very creamy, like butter, whilst poo is... poo) in a container clearly labelled Nutella with feces. And just a concluding point - all of you say that eating in a bathroom is so unsanitary, because of all the diseases, which is the attitude of a 5-year-old. Unless OP was eating his snack with his hands stuffed halfway down the toilet, which I very much doubt, the chance of catching a disease in a bathroom is exactly the same as in any other room.

Imaginationn 6

Monday 16 September 2013 19:22

I find it kind of odd why you were eating while on the toilet but then again people do lots of weird things while on the toilet. Anyways this made me laugh, good luck in convincing everyone!