Miscellaneous: Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss...

By Brie - 05/09/2011 13:00 - United States

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 207

You deserved it 3 204

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Same thing different taste

By moonstone15 - 06/08/2011 00:24 - United States

Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 219

You deserved it 4 247

Let her have her fun

By WHY GRANDMA - 17/06/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 193

By heymacie - 19/02/2015 05:45 - United States - Lubbock

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 976

You deserved it 38 282

By Anonymous - 02/09/2019 04:00 - New Zealand - Invercargill

Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 809

You deserved it 164

By cAPITOLpORN - 23/06/2015 15:57 - United Kingdom - Romford

Today, my grandmother ripped her pants. We all got a big view of her pink thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 273

You deserved it 2 216

How soon is now?

By Grandmas lost it - 28/08/2013 04:48 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 894

You deserved it 3 549

By Username - 13/09/2010 23:19 - France

Today, I found out my grandmother doesn't wear underwear when she bent over in front of me in her inappropriately short nightgown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 666

You deserved it 2 853

By Anonymous - 13/09/2013 17:06 - Ireland - Donegal

Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 023

You deserved it 7 201

By Anonymous - 25/06/2011 20:39 - Switzerland

Today, my family went out to dinner at a seafood restaurant. While we were eating our food, my grandma demanded to see the manager, and loudly complained that her fish was "too fishy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 075

You deserved it 4 238

Sex work is real work

By thatssickkk - 17/02/2010 06:40 - United States

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 570

You deserved it 2 727

hailphire130 0

Monday 5 September 2011 17:43

You should've surprised everyone and licked her ass sensually. Oh god, I creeped myself out.

_YeahImMe_ 0

Monday 5 September 2011 17:42

Wow. Fun grandma.

Comments

bubo_fml 10

Monday 5 September 2011 21:11

Any takers?

Cinderella_Man 10

Monday 5 September 2011 21:17

This is why there needs to be mandatory euthanasia at age 80!

TheNewGuy03 28

Monday 5 September 2011 22:03

And what if she's only 79?

Cinderella_Man 10

Tuesday 6 September 2011 5:55

Sounds like full blown dementia, all the more reason to put her down - NOW!?

ShyAnn29 14

Monday 5 September 2011 21:27

55, that made me laugh, lol good one!!

Biggy2010 3

Monday 5 September 2011 22:12

83 you cant even say anything you have your cat in yours. tha only thing we can see is your feet.

candyaddict54 3

Monday 5 September 2011 22:15

And remember the one who started a fistfight at the doctor. that was one awesome FML!!!

wriptidez 0

Monday 5 September 2011 23:00

was shearrested?

SolemnlyLove 7

Monday 5 September 2011 23:01

Is she a Gilf?

False_Stupidity 41

Monday 5 September 2011 23:03

Wow 63, you managed to get so many past FML references into that one.. I'm in awe

BloodyMary666 24

Monday 5 September 2011 23:10

What in the name of God?!?! O.o

ZeroIce 12

Monday 5 September 2011 23:16

i love ur grandma! :D

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 831

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves, so I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview, I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202 625

You deserved it 51 985

The Top

Today, I'd been lonely for a while when I finally met a girl that is genuinely brilliant. She's all huggy, clingy and likes me back. Turns out she's a lesbian, so we can't be anything more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 189

You deserved it 196

Today, while waitressing, I had a huge party. When everything was said and done I saw the tip they left me. It said on a napkin, "You're pretty. You can't put a value on a compliment." And that was it. I wish compliments paid the rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 337

You deserved it 4 127

Today, while in class, a cute boy came up and asked me for my number. I giggled and wrote my phone number on a piece of paper and told him to call me sometime. He gave me a weird look and walked away. He was asking which number math problem I needed help with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 536

You deserved it 34 998

Today, we were driving home from NYC to Knoxville after our flight got cancelled, and we had to drive with 3 strangers for 13 hours. We are now stuck in Who-Knows-Where, Virginia, with two blown tires, because a metal plate fell off an 18-wheeler in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 809

You deserved it 145

Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 253

You deserved it 433

Today, during my father's funeral, I heard my mother-in-law mutter, "No loss there. Lazy cunt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 157

You deserved it 1 710

Same thing different taste

Let her have her fun

How soon is now?

Sex work is real work

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