Miscellaneous: Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss...

By Brie - 05/09/2011 13:00 - United States

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 207

You deserved it 3 204

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By moonstone15 - 06/08/2011 00:24 - United States

Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 219

You deserved it 4 247

Let her have her fun

By WHY GRANDMA - 17/06/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 193

By heymacie - 19/02/2015 05:45 - United States - Lubbock

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 976

You deserved it 38 280

By Anonymous - 02/09/2019 04:00 - New Zealand - Invercargill

Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 807

You deserved it 164

By cAPITOLpORN - 23/06/2015 15:57 - United Kingdom - Romford

Today, my grandmother ripped her pants. We all got a big view of her pink thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 273

You deserved it 2 216

How soon is now?

By Grandmas lost it - 28/08/2013 04:48 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 893

You deserved it 3 549

By Username - 13/09/2010 23:19 - France

Today, I found out my grandmother doesn't wear underwear when she bent over in front of me in her inappropriately short nightgown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 662

You deserved it 2 853

By Anonymous - 13/09/2013 17:06 - Ireland - Donegal

Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 022

You deserved it 7 201

By Anonymous - 25/06/2011 20:39 - Switzerland

Today, my family went out to dinner at a seafood restaurant. While we were eating our food, my grandma demanded to see the manager, and loudly complained that her fish was "too fishy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 074

You deserved it 4 238

Sex work is real work

By thatssickkk - 17/02/2010 06:40 - United States

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 569

You deserved it 2 727

hailphire130 0

Monday 5 September 2011 17:43

You should've surprised everyone and licked her ass sensually. Oh god, I creeped myself out.

_YeahImMe_ 0

Monday 5 September 2011 17:42

Wow. Fun grandma.

Comments

mattdm91 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 5:23

I want to party with your grandma. She seems like a lot of fun.

teemooegan 9

Tuesday 6 September 2011 7:31

your grandma is one BAD bitch, straight up !

i_am_that_one 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 8:08

Hahaha! Too bad no one wants to look at it yet alone kiss it

Grayscale 9

Tuesday 6 September 2011 8:33

And how many people did obey your grandma?

haha_lmfao 7

Tuesday 6 September 2011 8:38

Your grandma is awesome!!!!!

jayejayejaye122 3

Tuesday 6 September 2011 9:09

Hahaha

xXSecondSunXx 3

Tuesday 6 September 2011 18:56

grandmothers are crazy :O

theburninator 1

Tuesday 6 September 2011 23:28

That's ******* awesome

isabelm13 2

Wednesday 7 September 2011 5:48

Yea don't kiss it...... Lick it :)) lol

hurrican_fml 0

Wednesday 7 September 2011 5:50

Time for a straight jacket

Keywords

Cars Poopoo peepee Transportation Awkward Dentist Health Shopping Love My ex Cats Animals Job interview Work Clothes Miscellaneous Weird Vacation Holidays Family Annoying Parents AITA Am I overreacting? Funerals Harassment Relatable Engagement Food Ironic Money

The Top

Today, I was meeting friends for dinner at an Indian restaurant. I was waiting for the group to arrive and our table to be ready. An Indian man approached me smiling, so I said, "We're not ready for our table yet." Then I realized it was my friend's boyfriend, who I've met several times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 092

You deserved it 68 098

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 63

The Top

Today, I told the woman that I've had a crush on for some time how I felt. She laughed so hard that water sprayed from her nose and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 608

You deserved it 2 916

Today, I received a few new fish for my aquarium as presents for my birthday. It just so happened that these fish were carrying diseases that left me with a tank full of dead fish. Happy birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 789

You deserved it 2 927

Today, a McDonald's employee had to correct my math after counting out $2.37 in change. I'm in AP Calculus and am currently learning how to find the derivative of an inverse of a logarithm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 068

You deserved it 44 321

Today, my fiancé asked me to do some manscaping. I got a little overzealous and now I look like a 12-year-old boy with razor burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 716

You deserved it 1 579

Today, there was a big snow storm and I wanted to help shovel, so I put on 3 pairs of socks, 2 pairs of pants, 2 winter coats, 2 pairs of gloves, a hat and a scarf. Once outside, I was told to go back inside because the job was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 054

You deserved it 33 033

Today, my wife told me that I was a 5 on the scale of how well I flirted and romanced her, and that the guy before me was a 9. This was at the kitchen table in front of our kids. They thought it was hilarious, and told me I shouldn’t bother anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 697

You deserved it 196

Same thing different taste

Let her have her fun

How soon is now?

Sex work is real work

Top comments

Comments