Miscellaneous: Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight,...

By -_- - 13/05/2015 16:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 159

You deserved it 3 201

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Same thing different taste

Let her have her fun

By WHY GRANDMA - 17/06/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 193

By lovingthis - 09/01/2013 16:48 - United States - Largo

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 204

You deserved it 5 249

By notsoclean - 24/12/2010 21:14 - United States

Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 482

You deserved it 3 697

By Brie - 05/09/2011 13:00 - United States

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 207

You deserved it 3 204

Eye bleach

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 01:39 - United States

Today, my grandparents are in town for the weekend and are staying in our guest bedroom. This morning I went upstairs to get a drink of water, only to see my 75 year-old grandfather standing stark naked with the fridge door open. He then asked me if we had any coffee creamer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 498

You deserved it 2 904

Not funny

By Anonymous - 09/10/2015 18:02 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, while having lunch with my grandparents, my grandpa's eyes glazed over, his head fell and he slumped in his chair. I started panicking and almost cried, thinking he was dead. Then he laughed and said "Just kidding. I'm fine." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 171

You deserved it 2 697

By dummy - 22/05/2009 05:12 - Canada

Today, my grandpa took out the family for dinner and paid for everyone. He paid the bill and my family and I were waiting by the door. I realised I probably should thank him for dinner. I turn around without thinking and give him a big hug and say thanks for dinner Grandpa. It wasn't my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 304

You deserved it 44 908

By Unappreciated Grandchild - 06/11/2012 07:59 - United States - Bel Air

Today, I looked over to see my grandfather looking thoughtfully at me. Feeling flattered because he rarely shows affection, I waved at him. He then said, "I was looking out the window" and continued to stare past my head out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 885

You deserved it 2 137

By lvegadelgado_6 - 10/08/2015 14:32 - United States - Deerfield

Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 556

You deserved it 2 141

By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 12:52 - United Kingdom

Today, my grandpa came into my room and asked for a pen. As I gave it to him, he let rip the foulest fart I've ever smelled in my life, and walked out without a word. 2 hours later, the smell is not only still there, it's filled the room. Looks like I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 313

You deserved it 2 984

cdgrayson 21

Wednesday 13 May 2015 23:33

Your grandpa has a better sex life than most of us on this site...

brvnnx 18

Wednesday 13 May 2015 23:38

Grandpa didn't choose the Thug life, the thug life chose grandpa.

Comments

ghetto_child 19

Wednesday 13 May 2015 23:31

someone's gettin' lucky tonight!

sonasonic 34

Thursday 14 May 2015 0:56

Definitely ain't OP... Brain bleach anyone? Double concentration.

aseus 9

Wednesday 13 May 2015 23:31

LOL

LeavenSilva 27

Wednesday 13 May 2015 23:32

Now we all have that mental image too....

cdgrayson 21

Wednesday 13 May 2015 23:33

Your grandpa has a better sex life than most of us on this site...

mountainmanmike 11

Thursday 14 May 2015 0:01

Speak for yourself!

MrSassypants 32

Thursday 14 May 2015 2:47

I agree with #18. Speak yourself. My hand knows exactly what I want.

samthestud13 10

Wednesday 13 May 2015 23:36

Balling since 1944

Attacksloth 33

Thursday 14 May 2015 2:47

Ball gags since 1944*

Qwermy 16

Saturday 16 May 2015 7:33

he invented balling

brvnnx 18

Wednesday 13 May 2015 23:38

Grandpa didn't choose the Thug life, the thug life chose grandpa.

91hayek 31

Thursday 14 May 2015 0:50

*Still D.R.E starts playing*

muzy 23

Wednesday 13 May 2015 23:38

It don't get smoother than that! you're grandad sounds like a legend, OP. Though he could have spared you on the detail.

xxlittlemsanime 24

Wednesday 13 May 2015 23:39

I guess being freaky has no limit.

funneh1 21

Wednesday 13 May 2015 23:42

My thoughts exactly.. lol

FieldLeftBlank 20

Wednesday 13 May 2015 23:41

Ask him for some tips.

bwinski 19

Friday 15 May 2015 10:59

the only one getting a "tip" is granny apparently..

funneh1 21

Wednesday 13 May 2015 23:41

Oh my....haha. What an awful mental image even though this made me laugh.

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The Top

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 118

You deserved it 3 775

Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 4 693

The Top

Today, my 50-year-old dad was in a foul mood after taking an online test that put him in Slytherin house instead of Ravenclaw where he "belongs" because he's "so smart". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 416

You deserved it 3 696

Today, some thieves broke into my church and stole our cameras, monitors, and some other hardware. We were planning to use them for the security system we were about to install. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 152

You deserved it 6 179

Today, I was able to land a nice apartment solely based on the fact that my puppy is potty trained. During the required pet interview, my dog 'got sick' and defecated all over the apartment office. I now have to clean the mess knowing that I will not be allowed to live there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 515

You deserved it 4 297

Today, I went out for some very expensive sushi. Two hours later, I found myself on the toilet, violently voiding my bowels. I essentially paid to have liquid orange shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 496

You deserved it 7 512

Today, my husband’s dream has always been to have a big family. I however cannot physically or mentally handle having any more. He’s now threatening to hire a surrogate to continue pumping out babies for him. We already have 8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 127

Today, my boss is on the phone with a Russian customer, who keeps saying, "Speak Russian please!" My boss asks me to translate, as he hired me for my knowledge of Russian. He says something, I translate in Russian, then the customer says, "Speak English please!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 359

You deserved it 2 088

Same thing different taste

Let her have her fun

Eye bleach

Not funny

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