Miscellaneous: Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight,...

By -_- - 13/05/2015 16:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 163

You deserved it 3 201

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Same thing different taste

Let her have her fun

By WHY GRANDMA - 17/06/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 197

By lovingthis - 09/01/2013 16:48 - United States - Largo

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 210

You deserved it 5 252

By notsoclean - 24/12/2010 21:14 - United States

Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 491

You deserved it 3 698

By Brie - 05/09/2011 13:00 - United States

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 214

You deserved it 3 208

Eye bleach

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 01:39 - United States

Today, my grandparents are in town for the weekend and are staying in our guest bedroom. This morning I went upstairs to get a drink of water, only to see my 75 year-old grandfather standing stark naked with the fridge door open. He then asked me if we had any coffee creamer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 503

You deserved it 2 905

Not funny

By Anonymous - 09/10/2015 18:02 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, while having lunch with my grandparents, my grandpa's eyes glazed over, his head fell and he slumped in his chair. I started panicking and almost cried, thinking he was dead. Then he laughed and said "Just kidding. I'm fine." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 174

You deserved it 2 699

By dummy - 22/05/2009 05:12 - Canada

Today, my grandpa took out the family for dinner and paid for everyone. He paid the bill and my family and I were waiting by the door. I realised I probably should thank him for dinner. I turn around without thinking and give him a big hug and say thanks for dinner Grandpa. It wasn't my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 304

You deserved it 44 915

By Unappreciated Grandchild - 06/11/2012 07:59 - United States - Bel Air

Today, I looked over to see my grandfather looking thoughtfully at me. Feeling flattered because he rarely shows affection, I waved at him. He then said, "I was looking out the window" and continued to stare past my head out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 886

You deserved it 2 139

By lvegadelgado_6 - 10/08/2015 14:32 - United States - Deerfield

Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 559

You deserved it 2 141

By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 12:52 - United Kingdom

Today, my grandpa came into my room and asked for a pen. As I gave it to him, he let rip the foulest fart I've ever smelled in my life, and walked out without a word. 2 hours later, the smell is not only still there, it's filled the room. Looks like I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 317

You deserved it 2 985

cdgrayson 21

Wednesday 13 May 2015 23:33

Your grandpa has a better sex life than most of us on this site...

brvnnx 18

Wednesday 13 May 2015 23:38

Grandpa didn't choose the Thug life, the thug life chose grandpa.

Comments

chef4money 12

Thursday 14 May 2015 3:20

I saw way to go gamma and grandpa. It's probably not something you wanted to hear but it's awesome that they still have fun in bed.

BananaCoconutty 26

Thursday 14 May 2015 3:22

What a cougar

GoldLeader 19

Friday 15 May 2015 22:38

Do you even know what that word means?

the_real_dvd 21

Thursday 14 May 2015 3:53

It's the best kind of buffet. You can eat all you want and never gain weight.

cappellaaa 23

Thursday 14 May 2015 4:23

Your grandpop sounds funny as shit. Sorry for that mental image op lol

Hauclir 14

Thursday 14 May 2015 4:33

For the record, we didn't need that mental image either.

fallenkilljoy 13

Thursday 14 May 2015 4:42

Your grandpa has game.

healthcarechick 9

Thursday 14 May 2015 4:49

Omg!!!! Hahahaha

MrGibbs25 20

Thursday 14 May 2015 5:12

They still got it lol

MomentoMori 23

Thursday 14 May 2015 5:25

YOLO

SookyLala 13

Thursday 14 May 2015 6:22

hahahaha. what a bad ass granpa

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Today, I informed my parents that my husband and I are separating after much deliberation. We came to this conclusion relatively peacefully. According to my parents, I'm now Satan, and will end up on the streets as a crack whore if we don't change our minds and stay together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 558

You deserved it 4 140

Today, a few hours after me and my husband had sex, he mumbled, "This is why I hate sex," as he left to grab some Tylenol. Apparently, he's so out of shape that basic sex made his muscles too sore to sleep. This is the first time in two weeks we've had sex. I'm always the one that has to ask for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 281

You deserved it 345

The Top

Today, a client walked into my store with a duck in her hands. I had to explain to her that she couldn't bring the bird shopping with her. We got a 1-star review. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 139

Today, I looked through my girlfriend's phone book and saw two entries with my name. One had "(cute)" attached to it. I checked to see if it was my number. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 470

You deserved it 5 400

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 753

You deserved it 6 803

Today, I told my husband I was pregnant. He laughed and said, “April Fools, right?” then left the room, still laughing like it was the dumbest thing ever. Tomorrow's April Fools day. I really am pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 601

You deserved it 4 304

Today, I am 8 weeks pregnant. I have debilitating 'morning sickness' all day. And now I get to add peeing my pants every time I throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 684

You deserved it 4 979

Today, my girlfriend had a huge fight with me because while I'm trying to gain weight and she’s trying to lose some, I’ve still lost more weight than her. Not my fault my body’s natural preference is to drop pounds like they’re hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 142

Same thing different taste

Let her have her fun

Eye bleach

Not funny

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