Kids: Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After...

By 919191 - 18/08/2014 13:26 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 409

You deserved it 6 586

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Same thing different taste

By Noname - 04/12/2008 04:39 - France

Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML

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You deserved it 9 224

By numbnuts - 23/09/2013 05:48 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 499

You deserved it 6 062

By anonymous - 28/07/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

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You deserved it 16 962

By anon - 05/12/2015 00:32 - United States

Today, my 6-year-old daughter watched The Lion King for the first time. Now, whenever I ask her to do something, she replies "Hakuna Matata" and doesn't even get up. I think she took "no worries" to mean "don't give a shit about anything". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 139

You deserved it 2 824

By thedancingtit - 07/06/2016 05:11 - United States - Eagle River

Today, I let my brother babysit my 6-year-old daughter. She learned 2 new words from him. One of them was "Hail" and the other one was "Satan". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 060

You deserved it 2 345

Word of the day

By Maryann - 19/03/2021 05:01

Today, my four year-old daughter asked me what the word “necrophilia” means. I have no idea where she even heard that. FML

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You deserved it 97

By Anonymous - 19/10/2014 20:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 487

You deserved it 5 786

You had to ask

By hii - 01/03/2009 20:29 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a one year-old. She'd just learned how to say yes, so if you asked her ANYTHING, she'd say yes. I asked her if she liked vegetables and she said, "Yes!" Then I asked her if I was pretty. She looked at me and said, "NO." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 557

You deserved it 14 672

By -___- - 14/09/2012 23:06 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

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You deserved it 3 353

Language!

By angkal2002 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my five year-old sister won't stop saying, "Shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 565

You deserved it 3 438

namine120409 42

Monday 18 August 2014 17:01

At least he didn't teach her the big N word.

tukies 28

Monday 18 August 2014 17:06

To be perfectly honest that was where I thought this FML was going. After I finished reading it I just went well it could have been a lot worse.

Comments

namine120409 42

Monday 18 August 2014 17:01

At least he didn't teach her the big N word.

tukies 28

Monday 18 August 2014 17:06

To be perfectly honest that was where I thought this FML was going. After I finished reading it I just went well it could have been a lot worse.

JBChristian 47

Monday 18 August 2014 17:13

Yes one, it would have been tragic. nitrochloroanthraquinones, definitely want to keep that out of the toddlers reach.

tigerisabelle 31

Monday 18 August 2014 17:45

Noodle? Man, I learned that one far too early. Ever since I was two years old, I've been slowly falling prey to the Japanese culture. My second word was "kawaii" and it's just gone downhill from there...