I see it as a vicious circle. E.g. he didn't talk about something, the wife got mad about it, the man talks even less about stuff, she gets more mad etc.

Sounds about right.

It sucks op, but one of you have to take that first step towards becoming friends again, or this will end bad.

As a guy, sometimes I just don't want to talk. Sometimes you have to just let it go and he'll eventually come around. When I get those moods my better half won't pick up on it then it's a question assault. "Why won't you talk to me? How come you're like this? What did I do?" It may not even be her but the fact that she keeps pressing after I let her know that I'm not interested in talkin will send me to do the same thing of throwing my hands up and walking away because I don't want to get irritated at her for caring. It's probably something that you have no control over and he doesn't want to burden you with it. On the other hand, maybe there was a time that he really needed you and didn't get the support he was expecting. Dunno, too many variables for this situation to say for sure on FML but my advice would be when he does it again, tell him you don't know what the hell happened to him and it's not fair to leave you in the dark but when he's ready to talk, you'll be there and leave it at that. Sometimes we (man or woman) just need time to figure things out ourselves regardless of how much our family may want to help.

The fact that he knows to not speak to OP in the heat of the argument, seems to contradict your statement.

Seems like he's not speaking to op even after the agreement.

Just because her husband isn't communicating anymore doesn't make him any less of a man. Some people find it difficult to talk to someone after constant arguing.

I doubt your marriage is perfect so comparing the two seems like a bad idea.

We get that you love Erwin but nobody here needs to be put down for you to feel better about your relationship.

Erwin is a stupid name...just saying.

Marriage isn't just sex you know.

This, my friend, is wise council.

Not necessarily nagging, but maybe she wants answers and isn't getting any, or is trying to get a point across and feels like he just isn't listening. They clearly need help with their communication, but we don't know where blame lies - and considering OP is reading these comments and is clearly upset, maybe we shouldn't be blaming her.